Advice

Ok... so lovely fellow bloggers I need some advice. I was dead set on ordering my shots until this morning. I realized I would have to do speed shipping in order to get them in time. This would cost me about 370 dollars this month. And I started thinking about the next month and about how I wouldn't be able to order the meds in time from overseas if I start them on day 2 and all so that next month I would be looking at around 800-900 dollars for shots more than likely. That is unless the doctor would let me make a gamble and order them midway through the cycle not knowing whether I was pregnant or not.

So anyway, I was perplexed thinkiing about it. But then I remembered that my doctor had first recommended that I try Clomid days 3-7 100mg for this month and then move to the shots. I am just wondering if maybe I should. Here are the facts:

1. I need left eggs.
2. I only had right ones last month with Femara days 3-7 plus 2 hmg shots that were double mixed.
3. I took Clomid for 6 mos. w/o ultrasounds at my regular OBGYN office.
4. The doctor said the Clomid might be better at creating the left sided eggs for me.

So.... what do you think? I need your input. I'm not going to do a poll or anything because obviously I'll end up following my heart in the end, but I would love to hear any insight that any of you all have. I keep going back and forth. Has anyone done a whole cycle of hmg? Help! Also, Pray that God will guide me towards what to do.

How are you feeling?

I keep getting that question a lot. Do people really want me to answer that? haha I mean one minute I'm up the next I'm down. And I'm not such a good friend right now to some of my non IF preggo friends. If you are one of them and you are reading this... I apologize. I am very happy for all of you but I just can't call, text, email, message, etc. and talk about it. Its just too hard for me right now. Hopefully I'll be pregnant soon and we can have those discussions but at the moment I just can't.

God is a good God. That has been my statement of faith throughout this entire journey. I truly believe it! No matter how my emotions go, He still has my entire heart because I gave it to Him a long time ago. I trust Him. Does that mean that I don't go through the same issues as others? Nope. I still get upset, angry, depressed, miffed, etc about things but I feel in my heart that God knows and God has a plan.

I often worry that I am not walking this road good enough. I worry that though I am trying, I am not giving God all the glory He deserves through my infertility and life in general. I apologize Father that I can never, ever do enough to bring You glory. But I am trying and through His strength I can continue to persevere.

It is really easy to become negative when you have had 2o months of negative test results. It's easy to get down when you are told that you have a uterine deformity and that you will be high risk when you finally do get pregnant. And boy oh boy is it hard to hear that though you have had high hopes and spent lots of cash on meds, you don't have any eggs on your good side. I admit... it is depressing. Top all that off on Christmas Eve with my aunt's diagnosis of ovarian cancer and wow....

And I feel kind of at a loss because there is only one other IF friend that I regularly communicate with via this blog who has a UU. I would love to learn more and to hear more stories but they just aren't out there. I have joined the Yahoo UU Sisterhood group, but I still haven't made any personal connections.

God is dealing with my heart. It is a definite struggle because I am not perfect, nor will I ever be. I'm upset with myself this morning about a couple of things I could have done differently. The holidays have thrown me off with my Bible studying and my regular Prayer time. I have still been doing it but not in a routine and the way that I like it. Please Pray for me in that area.

Also, I went shopping with my mother-in-law last Saturday at a Family Christan Store in Louisville. She wouldn't have it any other way but for me to pick out some stuff to buy as a continuation of my Christmas gift from her and my father-in-law. I was looking around and I came across a book. My first instinct was to put it back because I just never ever have the time to read and the only book I read daily is my Bible. But I flipped through it and noticed that it mentioned Elizabeth being barren and that the whole point of the book was God leading you through trials. So I felt like God was leading me to it. I am currently reading it (slowly) and I will let you know what I glean from Elizabeth George's words of wisdom from God.

Lastly, I want to thank God for 2008. It has been difficult yet there have been wonderful times. He has blessed my family with health and that's truly all I could ever ask for. He has given my mom a good report yesterday at her appointment with the cardiologist. He has blessed my dad with rest and health. He has blessed my brother with a 2008 championship and the chance to honor Him on the field at state. He has blessed my hubby with a wonderful job. He has watched over my in-laws and kept them safe throughout the many issues that have come about. He has blessed me with the process of finding out what is causing my IF. He's blessed my doctor with the wisdom to help me deal with it anyway. He has provided money for IF treatment. He has CONTINUED to be a GOOD GOD and He always will! The list goes on and on. I Praise Him for that.

Father,

I thank You this morning, the last of 2008, for all the many blessings that You have given to me and to those that I hold dear. I appreciate You for everything You are and continue to be. You truly are a good father who has my best interest at heart. I will continue to trust You throughout my journey with infertility and life in general. I will continually give to You the worries that plague my heart and the burdens that weigh me down. I will trust You Father and know that You are working even now for the Godly desires of my heart. I Pray Father, continue to create that precious child that's meant just for Mike and I. Let it already begin to fill my heart with it's presence and let it's love begin to grow in my heart. Be with my infertility journey, my friends who walk this path with me and those that don't. Be with my precious parents, my precious brother, precious husband and in-laws. Be with my blessed friends and church and pastor. Father, let 2009 bring a true abundance of love, peace, joy, and perhaps a precious little baby in our lives. I love You Father, even when I'm not so good at showing it. Help me to do better at that.

In Jesus' Holy Name I Pray,

Amen.

No eggs

This is a quick post to ask each of you to Pray for me.. struggling a lot here. I went to the doctor yesterday (Christmas Eve) and I had no eggs on my good side. I did have 2 on the right side. She said that you can get pregnant from the opposite side but that it is highly unlikely. God still performs miracles though! Please Pray for a Christmas miracle.

I'm really shocked that with the mixed cycle of pills and shots I only produced 2 eggs. That's less than I produce on the pills by themselves! I just don't understand it. Next cycle will be all shots.

Also, when I got home yesterday (a 3hr drive round trip) I was informed that my aunt was heading into emergency surgery. We then left to go there (another 3 hr drive round trip)They found a huge tumor on her ovary and it is cancer. The doctor seems really positive but she is going to have a lot to go through. Please Pray for her. It was an extremely long day yesterday.

Ps. Does anyone know of anyone who has gotten pregnant from the opposite side with the opposite tube?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRECIOUS SAVIOR! THANK YOU FOR BEING MY BEST FRIEND!!!
LUKE 1:37

Cycle 2 Post Surgery

So... I am currently taking Femara 7.5 days 3-7 ($15.00). On days 8 and 9, I will mix 2 powders with 1 cc of liquid and take my HMG shots ($281.20). Wednesday, Christmas Eve, I will be heading to the doctor for an ultrasound to see the sizes and locations of my follicles (eggs). If need be, I will take one more HMG shot. If I don't need it, I will be taking my HCG trigger shot ($43.00) that night and having an insemination ($215.00) on Friday the 26th. The doctor said that she is pretty sure that it will roll out that way. It is really hard to turn over that much money and wonder if it will work. Please Pray that we do not have to keep coming up with that much money to do this each month. I know that God knows me and my emotional well being.... I'm glad He does. I know that He knows that I feel as though I am going to crack at the seams sometimes. I have to constantly keep turning it all back over to Him. He is faithful and good and He will supply my needs in His time.

PLEASE PRAY FOR:

* Lots of good eggs on my left ovary.
* This to be the month if God wills it to be.
* My journey will be moving in a different direction via pregnancy soon.
* My mental well being.
* My family who have really stood by me through this and have dealt with a lot.
* My friends who are so awesome!
* Another special request!
* My Christmas because we will not be able to celebrate with my in-laws during the actual holiday.... this stresses me out. I feel so bad asking people to change their plans because of me.
* Everyone during this holiday season! Pray that they will come to a Saving knowledge of our Precious Savior!


This Psalm touched my heart this morning as I read during my planning period.

Psalm 27 (King James Version)

1The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
2When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.
3Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.
4One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.
5For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.
6And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.
7Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
8When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.
9Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
10When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
11Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
12Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.
13I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
14Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.


I love each of you!

Monday... Cycle Day 1

Just letting you all know... it has arrived. I saw red at 6pm. Continue to Pray... this has been one of the hardest cycles yet for me. Really do not feel like myself right now. I think everyone is noticing that. Just remember me in your Prayers! I appreciate each of you!

Still Waiting....

My period has made no appearance yet. I Prayed for God to please let this next cycle fall after Christmas. It is so difficult to be at family events and have to worry about taking shots and having to try to conceive. I think this may be the answer to my Prayer. Thank You Father! Thank You for blessing me this year with a peaceful Christmas. After waiting since Thursday to see red, I decided to take another test. I know, I know. My blood test was negative. I get that. But, you just never know, so I took it. And it, too, was a BFN.

I have to say guys, I'm definitely in a "funk." I just can't seem to snap out of it. I have had a great weekend with my little brother's (a senior) football team winning the State Championship. This was the first time in 17 years! And they were undefeated the entire year. They have lost 1 game in 2 years and that was last year. And I am excited.... but still kinda down.

After our win, I was greeted by old friends. It was really fun until 2 different people pretty much made me feel really stupid with some pretty stupid comments. The comments dealt with infertility.... imagine that? And it happened all because satan decided that he wanted to tear me down for giving God the glory throughout this entire football season and the entire championship game.

Will I be ok? Yea... I told Jesus that I can hold on...but I need His strength. I just honestly don't know how much longer I can mentally hang on. But... as I have said all along... God is good. God is soo good and He will stand up at the right hand of the Father for me soon. I know He will. I ask even now... Lord... stand up for me. Help me defeat this monster called infertility. Bless me Lord with a precious little miracle and most importantly help me to have "Peace that passes all understanding."

Please guys... Pray that this cycle will be "the cycle." My Savior knows my heavy and overwhelmed heart. He knows that I'm growing more and more weary by the day. Pray that this cycle, if it be His will, will just fall into place. Pray that the meds will be the right meds and that the days will fall right. Pray for the insemination that will take place. Please, please Pray for my heavy heart.

Love To You All!

BFN

Another BFN. I've had a really hard time. Please Pray for me. I appreciate all your Prayers thus far. No period yet but still waiting. Pray for this next cycle and my sanity... honestly.

Infertility Victory! Congrats Deanna!

CONGRATS TO MY DEAR FRIEND DEANNA! SHE'S PREGNANT! GOD IS STILL WORKING MIRACLES! LOVE U GUYS! God is soo good!

Things Aren't Looking Too Good

Please Pray for me as I think I am in the process of starting a new cycle which would obviously mean that I am not pregnant. Pray for me.

Quick Note... Progesterone Levels for November

My progesterone levels came back for this month and were 24.6. I am Praying that this means I ovulated at least 2 eggs. Please Pray guys.

Love to each of you!

alesha

Sharing some old posts from Shine 4 Jesus last Christmas with you Part 2 : God Is In The Impossible Situations

Luke 2: 5-80
5 ¶ There was in the days of Herod, the king of Judaea, a certain priest named Zacharias, of the course of Abia: and his wife was of the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elisabeth. They came from a good background!
6 And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
7 And they had no child, because that Elisabeth was barren, and they both were now well stricken in years.
8 And it came to pass, that while he executed the priest's office before God in the order of his course,
9 According to the custom of the priest's office, his lot was to burn incense when he went into the temple of the Lord.
10 And the whole multitude of the people were praying without at the time of incense.
11 And there appeared unto him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense.
12 And when Zacharias saw him, he was troubled, and fear fell upon him.
13 But the angel said unto him, Fear not, Zacharias: for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt call his name John.
14 And thou shalt have joy and gladness; and many shall rejoice at his birth.
15 For he shall be great in the sight of the Lord, and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink; and he shall be filled with the Holy Ghost, even from his mother's womb. Notice how he is filled with the Holy Spirit in the verse where his mom gets to see her cousin Mary and John knows even in the womb that she is carrying our Savior!
16 And many of the children of Israel shall he turn to the Lord their God.
17 And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.
18 And Zacharias said unto the angel, Whereby shall I know this? for I am an old man, and my wife well stricken in years.
19 And the angel answering said unto him, I am Gabriel, that stand in the presence of God; and am sent to speak unto thee, and to shew thee these glad tidings. He lacked faith…. I do this quite often myself!
20 And, behold, thou shalt be dumb, and not able to speak, until the day that these things shall be performed, because thou believest not my words, which shall be fulfilled in their season.
21 And the people waited for Zacharias, and marvelled that he tarried so long in the temple.
22 And when he came out, he could not speak unto them: and they perceived that he had seen a vision in the temple: for he beckoned unto them, and remained speechless.
23 And it came to pass, that, as soon as the days of his ministration were accomplished, he departed to his own house.
24 And after those days his wife Elisabeth conceived, and hid herself five months, saying,
25 Thus hath the Lord dealt with me in the days wherein he looked on me, to take away my reproach among men.
Back in those days, people actually believed that you had done something wrong or weren't holy enough to be blessed with a child. That's the reproach she is talking about.

Our Precious Savior's Existence is Spoken of …..
26 ¶ And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth,
27 To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary.
28 And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women.
29 And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.
30 And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.
31 And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.
32 He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:
33 And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.
34 Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?
35 And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.
36 And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren.
37 For with God nothing shall be impossible. This is my favorite part…. Here Mary had conceived and never known a man… and Elizabeth had conceived when she never thought she would. Both good women of God who loved God and were holy in His sight and their faith was made whole!!!
38 And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.
39 ¶ And Mary arose in those days, and went into the hill country with haste, into a city of Juda;
40 And entered into the house of Zacharias, and saluted Elisabeth.
41 And it came to pass, that, when ; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost: Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb There's baby John the Baptist getting excited about Jesus!
42 And she spake out with a loud voice, and said, Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb.
43 And whence is this to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? Beautiful!!! She was honoring Mary, a younger woman, and she was humble enough to do so!
44 For, lo, as soon as the voice of thy salutation sounded in mine ears, the babe leaped in my womb for joy.
45 And blessed is she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord.
46 And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord,
47 And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
48 For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.
49 For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name.
50 And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation.
51 He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
52 He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree.
53 He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away.
54 He hath holpen his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy;
55 As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed for ever.
56 And Mary abode with her about three months, and returned to her own house. Beautiful… Mary sings praises to God for His goodness and mercies!
57 ¶ Now Elisabeth's full time came that she should be delivered; and she brought forth a son.
58 And her neighbours and her cousins heard how the Lord had shewed great mercy upon her; and they rejoiced with her. Even after they had all assumed she had done something wrong before because she was barren! God showed them! Even though she had to wait for the child, look at who her child grew up into! John the Baptist!
59 And it came to pass, that on the eighth day they came to circumcise the child; and they called him Zacharias, after the name of his father.
60 And his mother answered and said, Not so; but he shall be called John.
61 And they said unto her, There is none of thy kindred that is called by this name.
62 And they made signs to his father, how he would have him called.
63 And he asked for a writing table, and wrote, saying, His name is John. And they marvelled all.
64 And his mouth was opened immediately, and his tongue loosed, and he spake, and praised God.
65 And fear came on all that dwelt round about them: and all these sayings were noised abroad throughout all the hill country of Judaea.
66 And all they that heard them laid them up in their hearts, saying, What manner of child shall this be! And the hand of the Lord was with him.
67 ¶ And his father Zacharias was filled with the Holy Ghost, and prophesied, saying,
68 Blessed be the Lord God of Israel; for he hath visited and redeemed his people,
69 And hath raised up an horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David;
70 As he spake by the mouth of his holy prophets, which have been since the world began:
71 That we should be saved from our enemies, and from the hand of all that hate us;
72 To perform the mercy promised to our fathers, and to remember his holy covenant;
73 The oath which he sware to our father Abraham,
74 That he would grant unto us, that we being delivered out of the hand of our enemies might serve him without fear,
75 In holiness and righteousness before him, all the days of our life.
76 And thou, child, shalt be called the prophet of the Highest: for thou shalt go before the face of the Lord to prepare his ways;
77 To give knowledge of salvation unto his people by the remission of their sins,
78 Through the tender mercy of our God; whereby the dayspring from on high hath visited us,
79 To give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace. He gave thanks to God for the blessed child they received!
80 And the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, and was in the deserts till the day of his shewing unto Israel.
He grew to be a great man who did nothing but point to Jesus through his whole life!

Sharing some old posts from Shine 4 Jesus last Christmas with you Part 1 : My very favorite Christmas song

(From Christmas 2007)

My very favorite Christmas song is "Mary Did You Know?" I could listen to this song over and over. It captures to very meaning of Christmas and puts in perspective with every other story involving Jesus in the Bible. I had hoped to ponder over this song as a pregnant gal this Christmas, however, God is not quite ready yet for our little addition. I know that regardless of when I get pregnant, I will listen to this song and ponder over this sweet, young girl who was chosen to deliver a Savior! Also, take notice of how the old will be made new.... my absolute favorite part.. our old bodies will be new and ABLE. Here are the lyrics and be sure to go here to listen to the song.

Mary, Did You Know?
Mary, did you know
That your baby boy
Would someday walk on water?
Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
That your baby boy
Has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered
Will soon deliver you.


Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Will give sight to a blind man?
Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Will calm the storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy
Has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little baby
You've kissed the face of God.
The blind will see
The deaf will hear
The dead will live again
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of the Lamb

Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Is Lord of all creation?
Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Will one day rule the nations?
Did you know
That your baby boy
Is heaven's perfect Lamb?
This sleeping child you're holding

Is the Great I Am

Words From My Father Through 3 Willing Vessels

I am very appreciative of all my friends out there, especially my blog pals. I really feel blessed because there are so many folks that I can actually call a friend. In the past month, I have had three of those friends let me know what God has spoken or shown them regarding my soon to come pregnancy.

If you will remember back a few posts, I had the words of my blog friend Poddy. He is such a sweet person and he really encourages my husband and I. Here's his words again:

"With dark days to come with His children like you shining His light then many will come running to the Lord. I don't see a world wide revival. Can't see it in Gods Word. But when peoples Backs are against the wall, some will cry out to him. And the light of YESHUA will shine waiting to help them to know the father. I'M GOING TO SAY THIS TO YOU MAY GOD BLESS YOUR WOMB AND CHILD WILL SHINE FOR JESUS AND HE WILL BE A BLESSING TO YOU BOTH AND YOUR FAMILY. Please if i'm wrong then forgive me and I will go before the Lord. But I will believe that God as made it known to me to tell you. YOU Won't need to tell me when it comes about, I will hear you here across the pond. blessing to you and hubby. " --- PODDY

On Monday, I was watching my students at breakfast when my friend Steph came in. She, too, has been through infertility and we can really relate to each other emotionally. Steph has been fasting and Praying for me and my friend Deanna for the past few months. She loves sweet tea but she has traded it in to Pray for us! Very sweet! So, she came into the lunchroom Monday and could not wait to talk to me. She told me that she had had a dream last Wednesday that I had came into the conference room and told her that I just peed on a stick and was pregnant. She said that we were both so excited and that we were trying to figure out when the baby would be born, my birthday or hers (both in August which is 9 months from November). She also told me that every time she Prays for me and Deanna she feels soo overwhelmed and burdened for us, but that the last few times that she has Prayed for us, she has not felt burdened at all! What a blessing! How encouraging!

Lastly, my third friend who I have mentioned before on here, Shelly, was overwhelmed with a testimony to tell me on Tuesday. Shelly and Brandon (my old boss from SECC UB) are such wonderful people and they were in the same boat that Michael and I are in now for many years. So, Shelly got ahold of me on Tuesday via Myspace email and said this:

"I just wanted to let you know that I was on my way home from work this evening & I was just praying and thanking God for Emma. Since I've gone back to work, I appreciate her so much more! I started to pray for all the little babies that don't have a mommy or daddy to hold them. I was asking God to give them comfort & to place them with parents who would love and care for them because I know that as much pain that we had when we were trying to conceive, I know that those little babies are yearning for parents just like we wanted a child. I then started to pray for you and your husband that you guys would have comfort and continue to put your trust and faith in God. Just as plain as day, at 5:49, I heard, "tell them to not pray for just any child, but to pray for the child that I am forming just for them!" I didn't have anything to write on, but a pizza box that had our dinner in it LOL, but I stopped on the mountain and wrote that down so I could remember to tell you, not that I would forget :-) I hope that you guys are doing okay! I just wanted to let you know that we will continue to pray for you guys!" -- Shelly

This really touched my heart. The third testimony of God's grace and His soon to come miracles! The fact that it is three also excites me because God speaks in three's all throughout the Bible. My best friend Danielle's mother Verna was given three different testimonies about Danielle's death when she died. Verna talked about this all the time in relation to this verse:

2 Corinthians 13:1 (Whole Chapter)
This is the third time I am coming to you. In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.

How awesome that I have heard it in three's! God is soo good!

Ps. Continue to Pray for Deanna and I as we find out our progesterone levels (we both had them checked today) and our pregnancy results. I Pray that if it is God's will, we will be blessed to go through this journey together since we've went through infertility's journey together. Love to each of you!