Last RE appointment and 1st High Risk OB appointment

The past few days have been crazy to put it mildly. My mind has totally ran away with me thinking that these horrible pains that I am feeling on the side opposite of my uterus was an ectopic pregnancy. I was sick all day Sunday with these crazy pains and then Tuesday night I woke up three different times from them. It was scary. Don't get me wrong, I can handle pain... but the thought of something happening to my baby drove me insane. In the mental stress of it all... I never stopped to think that my tube doesn't connect on the right. I knew that... it's just funny how the devil lets you forget those details when you need to remember them.

Anyway... I was extremely nervous today as I went for my 10:30am appointment with my RE for my first ultrasound. My RE told me that we were looking for a black circle and then a flicker, which was the heartbeat. I held my breath and then there it was. It was so cute... well to me it was haha. I had a hard time seeing the heartbeat but my hubby saw it fine. The doctor said that it had taken a little longer for the baby to move along to implant so the age was moved back to 6 weeks and 1 day. She said the heartbeat was 100bpm. She also told us that everything looked perfect for the age of the baby. I also got my baby's first picture!



I really enjoyed seeing my doctor and the staff. It was the first time I had seen them since my insemination. She went through the little due date wheel and said I would be due in January. She said around the 13th, but we'll stick with the 10th (my brother's 19th birthday) to make Billy happy. She continued to go through every month on the wheel to tell me the things I'd feel and what I could expect. She told me that the baby would more than likely be here by Christmas and at the earliest Thanksgiving.

We laughed and talked about my preggo belly and how it would look a little lopsided at times and then I got teary eyed and hugged my very special RE bye... for now. I told her that I'd be back for baby number 2 unless God had different plans.

Michael and I left and headed to Makino's Japenese Buffet. It was so good. I love the soup more than anything. I was soo hungry because I have been trying to not eat late because of the stomach issues. After a very delicious lunch, we headed to my new doctor's office at UT.

Of course it was the normal paperwork and all when I got there. Then I got a little sleepy while waiting to be called. I finally got called to do a urine sample and to be checked in (boy that urine sample was an adventure because of all the stomach issues ha!). Then Michael came back with me for another ultrasound. This time the tech (I missed my RE doing the ultrasound!) said the baby was only 5 weeks and 6 days (2 days different than my RE) and the heartbeat was 116. She said that they like to see a heartbeat of 120 but that since the baby was a young as it was that was normal. She printed me a second picture. It was a little more clear.



One of the doctor's came in and we talked. The nurse practitioner then came in and they conferred with each other. I asked some questions about vacation, stomach issues, that major pain in my side (they think it could be my right ovary still sending hormones, still swollen, maybe stretched, etc. ... my RE thought this could be it, too), eczema medication, etc. Then I had to do another urine sample and scheduled an appointment for 3 weeks later before heading home.

I cannot tell you the relief I felt when seeing that heartbeat. Am I out of the woods? Nope. But my RE did say (and I've read this) that after seeing the heartbeat, your miscarriage rate drops to about 5%. Not to say it can't happen but that its a better chance that it won't. I just Pray that it doesn't.

God is so good to me. He has heard my cries for 2 years and He has sent me this child. He has heard my cries for the past month and has blessed this ultrasound appointment. I praise Him for that! I Praise Him for this whole journey because it was all for a reason. This journey has made me who I am... I am the same yet there's a part of me that will never be the same. I Pray that I can continue to be used with through this situation.

There is plenty more I want to say and I will in the next little bit. Things are just really crazy right now because it's the end of the school year, my bro's graduation is coming up, vacation, dr. appointments, etc. I will be back!

Just keep Praying for me and the health of my baby. Pray for this crazy pain in my right, empty side. And Pray for my family. Also, please know that I am Praying for each of you as well!

Much love,




PS. Symptoms I am having: hmmm... exhausted, bathroom issues (*sigh* it's always one extreme or the other for me haha), heartburn (but that has calmed down a lot)

5 weeks and 5 days

Hi guys. Today I am 5 weeks and 5 days. Still tired, still acidic haha Had my levels retested yesterday at UT and they came back at 4,635. My progesterone was 50. Good stuff. I was a nervous wreck this morning wondering about that level, not to mention worn out! Praise God for His marvelous blessings! He has carried me through last night and today as He does so often!

I didn't get home from Church Wednesday night until 10:30 because my hubby and I stopped by Wal-Mart. I was exhausted. Then I was up at 3am, 5am, and then 6 am because I just kept waking up. Headed to have that blood work done at UT yesterday evening and didn't get home until 7 something. Oh and we have been in statewide testing all week long at work. I am really excited for this weekend just for some rest and so that I can clean my house.

I have 2 appointments on Thursday. The first at 10:30am with my WONDERFUL RE for an OB ultrasound. The second at 12:30 with the high-risk doctors I will be seeing at UT. I tell ya... it will be an adjustment to leave my RE. Don't get me wrong.... I'm glad I'm pregnant... I will just really miss her and her staff. She is hands down the best doctor I've ever been to. She really takes the time to talk to you and make sure you are ok. She even goes out of her way to call me at home... just like Tuesday night when I had an "issue" (haha) that scared me and I called the doctor on call line and she called me back from her home to check on me. She also called me last Saturday night from her house to give me my test results because she knew I was dying to know. She also called after my surgery on a Sunday night to make sure I was ok and to explain everything to me. She is an awesome person and an awesome doctor.

With all that said, I am asking for Prayers on Thursday. It is a scary thought to me of what could or could not be found on the ultrasound. Folks have told me to stop worrying and I am trying to chill but... you have to remember I've been through a lot in these last 2 years and it's hard to just throw caution to the wind. I KNOW my GOD is with me! I know He will take care of me but I need you to Pray about all this and for me to have peace this week and Thursday.

I am still Praying for you guys. My heart will be content when we are all on here together comparing our babies' pictures.

Much Love,

My Update! 4 weeks 6 days ... 46... my fav #! ... Also, link to Dena's devotional blog entry for Mother's Day!

First of all... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! I am happy that I can actually not feel so discouraged on this Mother's Day! This time last year, Shelly and Brandon's church Prayed over my Prayer cloth and mailed it to me just a few days later. I Pray that this time next year, I will be holding my precious baby! I thank God for my mother. She is the greatest mother in the entire world and is such a role model to me. I actually Praise God for all of my family and friends. Each of you mean the world to me!

I will definitely be Praying for all of my dear, sweet friends who are still traveling this road. My heart is with you. I still have the heart of an infertile and I always will. I am definitely not out of the woods either. Tomorrow, my Prayers will be with you even more so than usual. I love each of you dearly!

Quick post to update you... I went to UT today to have my levels checked. I thought it was only progesterone levels but she ended up checking both progesterone and HCG. My RE called me back tonight (she is really dedicated and thoughtful to call on a Sat. night) with the levels. My progesterone was 27 (FINALLY OVER 15!) and my HCG had moved up to 545 from 116 on Wed. and 29 on Sunday night. Praise the Lord! It worked out so well because I had started worrying today about my levels dropping or not being good and if I had have known that I had actually had them checked along with the progesterone this morning, I would have been nervous. God comforted me with that level increase when I least expected it! I just Pray (and ask that you continue to Pray as well) that the levels continue to double and that when we go for an ultrasound (not sure when yet), we will find a baby and a great heartbeat. Thanks for your sweet calls, emails, etc. I truly appreciate all of you more than you'll ever know! Praise Jesus for His blessings!

Much Love,



Ps. My sweet friend Dena has posted a devotion that she recieved for Mother's Day weekend on her blog. It is amazing! Please click here to check it out!

Beta Levels at 4 weeks and 3 days

My levels went up to 116. I was really happy about that. God is so wonderful! It's been a long, long day. I've had drama trying to find out those levels then major drama trying to get the progesterone in oil I was suppose to have had overnighted. They messed up and sent it regularly and I had to have it today. Ended up having to drive 40 minutes away to get the meds from a different pharmacy until these get here. The devil does not want me to have an easy time. All I have to say is, "Get off my back satan in the name of Jesus Christ!" And that will work!

Acid is flowing and I feel little twinges in my side. Little bit of brown earlier but sort of like what you have a couple days after your monthly friend. More than anything... EXHAUSTED!

I did make it to church tonight and I'm so glad I did. You should feel the spirit in our church especially when there is no noise and just Prayers and tears being shed on the altar. It's amazing! God is doing great things at Binghamtown!

Progesterone level was checked today and I will get it back in the next day or so. Just keep Praying that everything will work out throughout this whole pregnancy. Much love to all of u!

Ps. Pray for Baby Logan, a 2 year old at our church daycare who was just diagnosed with cancer after a tumor was found in his belly. Also, Pray for little Zoey who just had open heart surgery today and had a 50 percent chance of making it!

The Day After The Shock!

Tomorrow I go to have my beta level checked again. Please Pray that it has doubled. Also, please Pray that my progesterone level will come up. It was a 10 and they want it at a 15. My doctor increased my shot dosage to 2 per day so that it will bring it up. Just Pray that it works and most importantly Pray for God's will. I'm very nervous about tomorrow's results and the next few results for that matter but God is still in control. Whatever He wants to happen with this baby, He will let happen. Just continue to remember me in Prayer. I am by no means out of the woods yet and probably will not feel as though I am until I hold my precious child in my arms.

Also, please continue to Pray for all of those out there (including some of you) who are still waiting. Pray for guidance and strength as they persevere. I want so badly for those of you that I follow to be able to walk this path with me and I truly believe God is on the brink of answering your Prayers. We are still in this together!

And... THANKS SO MUCH for your sweet comments, phone calls, texts, emails. I promise to try to get back to you guys. I am sort of spacey right now haha. I love each of you dearly even if I haven't been the greatest at showing it in these last few months. These hormones and all the mental stress have made me want to hide myself in a deep, dark cave. I look forward to coming out into the light again : ) God is so good!!!

Much love,



Ps. There is a teenage boy that needs our Prayers. My brother goes to school with him and he went to the school I teach out. He stopped breathing this evening. Not sure the situation... but they have him at UT. Be much in Prayer for him please!

Genesis 30: 22 - And God remembered Alesha, and God hearkened to her, and opened her womb.

So ... God did remember me. I am pregnant! Can you even believe that? I still really can't! Here's what happened:

I spotted yesterday... not enough to hit the paper really. I really thought that it was over, but I felt the peace of God. I felt it as I posted my blog entry last night. This morning I woke up to sore boobs. I still was pretty unsure. I went to work and was talking to my coworkers about how I thought it was over for the month. They kept saying that they had spotted during their pregnancy, too.

Fast forward to about 10:15 a.m. My students were switching classes and even though I was not planning to check my voicemail I kept looking to see if I had any. At that time, I realized I didn't have any. I was putting my phone back in my desk drawer and it started ringing. The number that showed up was a Knoxville number. I decided to answer it so I went behind my chart stand in my classroom so I would be on the phone in front of my kids. It was my doctor who proceeded to speak in a chipper, sunshine voice. She told me my test was positive. I was like, "Are you sure?" She said yes.

I was in shock. Complete shock! I stepped outside my classroom to continue talking. I told her about the spotting and she said that she definitely wanted to check my progesterone to be sure it wasn't getting low, especially since I was spotting yesterday (which didn't alarm her). She wanted it back today so she wanted me to drive to Knoxville to UT for the blood work. She told me that my HCG level was 29. She said it was a little lower than she wanted but that she wasn't worried about it as long as it kept doubling. She told me she was faxing all the orders to have the progesterone and the repeated HCG testing done over the next few days.

I was so shocked. I literally slid along the wall to the teacher next door, who was my 2nd and fourth grade teacher, and I said, "It was positive." She looked at me like what? I repeated it and she started screaming. I then went looking for my mom and found her in the teacher's lounge. I told her it was positive and she started screaming, "WooHoo!" I then called my husband who thought I was kidding! HAHA Then my friend Tina in the office and then my friend Deanna and Kim and my mother-in-law....etc. My momma called my dad, aunt, and brother. My aunt and brother knew all along... they just kept telling me that I was pregnant. My aunt said that God was speaking to her the whole time and letting her know that. She is such a blessing to me!

I walked around in a daze the rest of the day and left an hour early to head to UT. My mom and I were so exhausted driving. I was on the phone the entire way there. I had my blood work done and then got a call from my niece who is in Kindergarten. She told me that a little bird had told her that I was going to have a baby and then she proceeded to talk about what she was gonna do with the baby and etc.

Finally, at about 8pm I made it home after a pit stop at my mom's to see my dad and brother. I talked to my little cousin (she's in Pharmacy school and not really that little) and then I hit the shower. I took my digital test right before the shower just so I could see the word and there it was ... Pregnant!

I am still in shock! I Praise God for this blessing. I admit... I am nervous about all the levels and everything turning out ok. But God is good and He is faithful. I truly believe He will bring this to pass. Please... continue to Pray that everything goes well. That the progesterone is ok and that the HCG levels continue to double. I will keep you posted.

Thanks for all the Prayers you have Prayed and will be Praying. I love each of you more than you know even though I haven't met most of you!

Most of all... THANK YOU HEAVENLY FATHER.... SO MANY BLESSINGS YOU HAVE BESTOWED UPON ME. I AM SO UNDESERVING. I AM NERVOUS BUT ANXIOUS TO SEE WHAT ELSE YOU ARE GOING TO DO. THIS CHILD IS YOURS FIRST AND FOREMOST AND I DEDICATE IT'S PRECIOUS NEW FORMING LIFE BACK TO YOU EVEN NOW ON THIS FIRST DAY THAT I KNOW OF IT'S EXISTENCE. THANK YOU PRECIOUS JESUS FOR THE LOVE YOU HAVE FOR ME AND THE HOPE THAT I HAVE IN YOU!

Psalm 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Love in Him,

*Sigh*

Just a quick note. I've been sick to my stomach since yesterday afternoon and I admit that it sort of had me thinking. Today after a nap, I took my progesterone shot as usual. As soon as I took it, I went to the bathroom and I was spotting. I have pretty much stopped for now but I am assuming it's because of the progesterone shot earlier. I went ahead and had my blood work done tonight after church instead of having to get up earlier in the morning before work. I probably won't check my voice mail for the results until after work. Just continue to Pray for me. God is still good even in the despair of this night! Glory to His name!

Ps. I dropped a book that our pastor went through with us about 5 years ago entitled "Praying When Life Hurts." It's kind of fitting that it just fell out during church because I think it's something I truly need to read right now. God knows exactly what to do for us doesn't He?

Waiting it out ....

First and foremost thanks to all of you who are Praying so hard and to those who have left sweet, sweet words of encouragement ... family and friends alike! You'll never know just how much you are appreciated.

I am feeling not so great today. I've been on an emotional roller coaster the past few days. Just the ups and downs of dreading finding out this news. I still have Hope that this is my month, but I am still a bit scared as well and exhausted more than anything. I feel like I won't be waiting too much longer because I feel like I'm trying to start my period. My lower back hurts and I feel really jittery. (I do the 'jittery' thing sometimes before my period). I also feel really nauseated. It's a toss up because periods and pregnancy have a lot of the same symptoms. I won't be surprised to see red soon even though I really hope that I don't.

I have really felt God speaking to me in these last few days. Last night I was watching Pastor John Hagee (I record his preaching) and he was speaking about hope. He said that hope is not just wishful thinking... our Hope is in the Lord. I've always known that but the things he brought out in his sermon just really touched my heart. This morning I was having my Prayer time and I wanted to hear a song before I started reading my Bible. I accidentally clicked on a link which took me to Natalie Grant's Myspace page and the song "Our Hope Endures" began to play out of the blue. I had heard that song on one of my many long trips home from the RE. This song I am not claiming as my theme song! I just sat and cried the entire time that it played. God is soo good even in the midst of these storms. Here He is trying to provide peace to my troubled. Thank you Father!

I don't know what will happen in the next couple of days. I honestly don't. I know what my heart wants to happen ... I want to find out that I'm pregnant and begin a journey that will be hard but worthwhile. Most importantly, as hard as it may be for me to accept, I want God's will in this situation more than anything and in my entire life for that matter.

Please continue to Pray my faithful sisters (and brothers who read or keep up in some way). Pray for God's will and Pray for my heart and my well being regardless of this outcome. Pray for guidance from Our Heavenly Father as to what to do in the coming months. Pray for peace and mercy. And Pray for others who are out there (like my friend Dena) who are also awaiting their news, whether it be about infertility or some other problem.

Please enjoy Natalie Grant's "Our Hope Endures":




Lyrics:

Our Hope Endures
By Natalie Grant

You would think only so much can go wrong
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume this one has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here
Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend peace within pain?
Or joy at a good man's wake?
Walk a mile with the woman whose body is racked
With illness, oh how can she laugh?
Oh, 'cause sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

Emmanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient
We never walk alone
And this is our hope

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged


Much Love to Each of You!