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Sunday, December 14, 2008

Still Waiting....

My period has made no appearance yet. I Prayed for God to please let this next cycle fall after Christmas. It is so difficult to be at family events and have to worry about taking shots and having to try to conceive. I think this may be the answer to my Prayer. Thank You Father! Thank You for blessing me this year with a peaceful Christmas. After waiting since Thursday to see red, I decided to take another test. I know, I know. My blood test was negative. I get that. But, you just never know, so I took it. And it, too, was a BFN.

I have to say guys, I'm definitely in a "funk." I just can't seem to snap out of it. I have had a great weekend with my little brother's (a senior) football team winning the State Championship. This was the first time in 17 years! And they were undefeated the entire year. They have lost 1 game in 2 years and that was last year. And I am excited.... but still kinda down.

After our win, I was greeted by old friends. It was really fun until 2 different people pretty much made me feel really stupid with some pretty stupid comments. The comments dealt with infertility.... imagine that? And it happened all because satan decided that he wanted to tear me down for giving God the glory throughout this entire football season and the entire championship game.

Will I be ok? Yea... I told Jesus that I can hold on...but I need His strength. I just honestly don't know how much longer I can mentally hang on. But... as I have said all along... God is good. God is soo good and He will stand up at the right hand of the Father for me soon. I know He will. I ask even now... Lord... stand up for me. Help me defeat this monster called infertility. Bless me Lord with a precious little miracle and most importantly help me to have "Peace that passes all understanding."

Please guys... Pray that this cycle will be "the cycle." My Savior knows my heavy and overwhelmed heart. He knows that I'm growing more and more weary by the day. Pray that this cycle, if it be His will, will just fall into place. Pray that the meds will be the right meds and that the days will fall right. Pray for the insemination that will take place. Please, please Pray for my heavy heart.

Love To You All!

2 Remarks:

Alicia

My heart goes out to you and I understand the being in a funk thing. I'm praying to God the Father for you tonight to end this trial so that much glory will be brought to His name. And that He would bless you richly in Christ and in that He would make your heart and mind sound and strong to endure the remaining days of this trial. I will trust that you are fast approaching the end of this infertility trial with a blessing baby from heaven.

beth ewing

girl it pains me to read your words. i know where you are b/c i was there too. then it happened...and i was happy and now i'm right back where i was before. but i feel like maybe this miscarriage has given me new light into God's will. i'm praying that God will give you that peace and of course that precious baby.