And........

I have 1 egg that should ovulate on my left ovary (the good side)! Praise the Lord! Those were actually my first words on the examining table today. God is truly good and He was good even last month when I had no left eggs at all. Just be Praying that He will send our child this month if it is possible in His will.

I did ask the doctor a couple of questions:

1. Would the not so good blood flow to my left side affect my left sided uterus when I get pregnant?
She said no. That it was only my ovary that was being affected by it.

2. Do I have a right rudimentary horn (a Unicornuate Uterus issue)?
She also said no and that if I had have she would have recommended another surgery to take it out. If you'll notice the drawing of my uterus on the right hand side of this blog, you'll see what I'm talking about and I should probably find a new picture because technically that little bitty uterus connected to the right ovary isn't there for me (that's the horn).

3. Should I order my shots anyway?
She said yes I should and that if I didn't need them that we could sell them to other women who are ordering them since they are from overseas.

So some good answers to some burning questions that I had. Pray guys... Pray so hard. I am so ready to find out that I am pregnant and to experience every little thing that goes along with it. I don't even care to puke or be ill.... I'd do anything to have a child at this point.

Thanks for your Prayers. They have been so uplifting to me and I can feel them surrounding me daily. I don't know what I'd do without you guys! You are appreciated more than you could ever know.

Ps. I mentioned to my RE the fact that my aunt had been diagnoised with ovarian cancer. She told me that she was really lucky that they had caught it in Stage 1b (what they moved her down to after the results came back). She was actually beyond lucky... she was blessed! She went for her second round of chemo yesterday and they tested her hormone levels which need to drop to 5 or lower (and this is HCG levels we are talking about here... soo wild to me). Her level had been 97,000 and had dropped to 66 with just that one treatment. Praise God!

My Decision

I have decided after much thought and much time in Prayer with God to take the Clomid days 3-7. I Pray that I have made the right decision and I feel as though I have because God led me to this decision. I have felt at peace with it. I should start my period on Saturday or Sunday if my Christmas miracle was delayed. I believe that I will get to have a child, but sometimes it seems like I'm going backward in that tunnel I mentioned a few posts ago. I feel as though the light that I could see at the end is now dim again. I'm just really not at a good point personally and I am doing all the things I know to do to get myself back to a better place. I am definitely leaning on God because I couldn't even get out of bed right now if it weren't for Him. I am just mentally worn out with this situation and my emotions. I'm mentally worn out with the fact that I am truly not myself right now. I can't do the things I use to do... I can't even communicate with people the way that I always have. I even have to work hard to communicate with my precious Savior at times.

On top of it all, my husband and I are trying to buy our first house because we found one that we loved and that would be an awesome deal. Well, we have had major issues with the seller and now I think there's someone else looking at it as well. Please Pray that if it's God's will for us to buy this house that He will help the seller to relax and just follow through with it and that no one else will buy it. I'm ready to buy a home and to enjoy some of the luxuries (and problems I'm sure) of being a home owner.

Lastly, please keep my aunt in your Prayers. She goes back to the doctor this Friday to find out if her Ovarian Cancer has spread to other organs. She is scared and I can see why. I have a really good feeling about it but I still greatly desire your Prayers. I really want this to come back good and for her to start her treatments and be on the road to recovery. She is really looking at life a lot differently as anyone would when they go through something like that. I love her dearly and I want everything to be ok with her.

Just Pray dear friends. Pray, Pray, Pray and know that I love each of you and I appreciate all your thoughts, Prayers, encouragement, and comments more than you'll ever know!


Ps. I did learn that when you have ovarian cancer or in men, prostate cancer, your hormones surge and that a big indicator is that you would test positive for pregnancy on a pregnancy test. So... just a thought but ... I think it'd be a good idea for folks to take a cheap pregnancy test each month to just make sure that it wasn't showing up as pregnant. My aunt's showed up as pregnant and the nurse actually argued with her telling her she was definitely pregnant when she knew she wasn't. Just a thought and something important I wanted to pass along to you guys.

God is still Faithful!

Psalm 46 (King James Version)

1God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

2Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;

3Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.

4There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.

5God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.

6The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.

7The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

8Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth.

9He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.

10Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

11The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

Hi guys,

I am still a little bit out of it but I wanted to share what I do know with you all. Yesterday's surgery went well. I didn't even have issues with the gasses that they pump into you like I did last time! The doctor made 2 discoveries that were out of the ordinary.

1: I have a Unicornuate Uterus. This means that my uterus is smaller than most and that it is only attached to my right fallopian tube. The doctor said that I would still be able to get pregnant on my own but that it would take longer and that I would have to have a C-section about a month early because the baby would run out of room.

2: The doctor found a vessel that is suppose to be under my ureter and it wasn't. This led her to think that I may have only one kidney. I have to get this looked into also.

I am scared but God is good. I've been reading stories online about the Unicornuate Uterus and I am so Praying that God will still bless me with a child. Since I only have 1 tube connecting to my uterus, that means I can only get pregnant when that tube sends out the egg. And... I still have my PCOS.

God knew what He was doing 27 years ago. He created me this way for a reason. Though it seems strange to me because there's only like a 1 in 4,000 chance of having this, He has a plan. It does scare me to think of waiting a lifetime to have a child. The chances of miscarriage according to the net are like 38%. But He knew what He was doing then and He knows what He's doing now. I praise Him for this!

Prayer needs:

1. Pray that I heal quickly and am back to myself soon.
2. Pray blessings for those at the hospital who were so kind to me yesterday.
3. Pray blessings upon my precious family who were so good to me yesterday and always.
4. Pray that despite all these issues, God would be preparing my precious child even now to make it's entrance into my life.
5. Pray that we can find out all about my kidney when I'm up to it.


Thanks and love to all!

Ps. My doctor is suppose to give me a call and let me know the ins and outs of all this. I'll update when I find out.

Plan for this Month Cycle 3 with Femara

Hi guys: (for you Jenileigh!)

First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH for your continued Prayers and faithfulness as my friends. I have felt those Prayers more than ever this month as I have went through receiving another negative via my period. God is such a comfort and I am so in love with Him. He is so good to me. I have done well this month but it is only by His grace and mercy that I wasn't consumed with depression over another month without a child. My baby is on it's way, I just know that it is.

This month, I brought up the IUI topic again. The doctor said that we could consider IUI and that she was going to up my Femara dosage to 3 pills (7.5mg) per night from days 3-10. I Pray that this will create bigger eggs and more of them. I go to the doctor next Monday for an ultrasound and possibly an IUI after that on Wed. or Thurs. Just Pray that if it is God's will, I will have two big enough follicles to do an IUI. I just want to have a child. I know God will lead me the right way. Just Pray for me.

Thank You For Your Prayers This Week!

Just a quick post to thank you so very much for the Prayers that you guys have sent up for me this week. I can feel them! My spirit has been lifted and I have been doing well. I appreciate it. When you get low, it gets scary because you aren't really sure exactly where your mind will take you. Praise God for good friends who pick up and Pray to get you through! I love each of you!

Progesterone Levels For August

Just a quick note to let you know my progesterone levels for this cycle. The doctor called today and said that my level was 22 and perfect. So the good news is that I did ovulate but we will still have to wait until Friday to see if I'm pregnant. Please Pray very hard that this worked and that God blesses us with our first child this month. I so desire to be a mother! Thanks for Praying for me and encouraging me!

Catching you up... A Special Thank You

Hi Guys:

I wanted to post a little thank you to a couple who has really went out of their way to encourage me while trying to conceive. Brandon and Shelly are the sweetest! Brandon was my boss when I taught at Southeast Community College Upward Bound. Shelly is his wife. I was really excited to find out that they were expecting last summer because I knew that they had been trying for awhile. I am always happy for folks but its even sweeter to know that they really been waiting and asking God for a miracle and hearing that they have received it. Brandon and Shelly both had sent me messages of encouragement over the past year. Their story was so amazing! So when Mother's Day rolled around, I was excited to leave Shelly a comment for her first celebration with baby Emma.
Shelly wrote me back with a sweet, heart felt note that really encouraged me. She then sent me another message telling me that she was sending me a prayer cloth. When I received her letter and the prayer cloth, I was overwhelmed with thanks and praise to God for such a good, Christian friend and witness. Shelly had went up in front of her church on Mother's Day and publicly thanked God for her little Emma. She then proceeded to tell them about me and my struggle with infertility over this past year. The entire church prayed over this prayer cloth and she sent it to me. What a blessing! I couldn't have received a better Mother's Day gift.... the prayers of a faithful church to help me become a mother! Thank you Shelly and Brandon! You guys are truly wonderful and I love you!!!

Originally posted May 18, 2008