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Tuesday, January 6, 2009

My Decision

I have decided after much thought and much time in Prayer with God to take the Clomid days 3-7. I Pray that I have made the right decision and I feel as though I have because God led me to this decision. I have felt at peace with it. I should start my period on Saturday or Sunday if my Christmas miracle was delayed. I believe that I will get to have a child, but sometimes it seems like I'm going backward in that tunnel I mentioned a few posts ago. I feel as though the light that I could see at the end is now dim again. I'm just really not at a good point personally and I am doing all the things I know to do to get myself back to a better place. I am definitely leaning on God because I couldn't even get out of bed right now if it weren't for Him. I am just mentally worn out with this situation and my emotions. I'm mentally worn out with the fact that I am truly not myself right now. I can't do the things I use to do... I can't even communicate with people the way that I always have. I even have to work hard to communicate with my precious Savior at times.

On top of it all, my husband and I are trying to buy our first house because we found one that we loved and that would be an awesome deal. Well, we have had major issues with the seller and now I think there's someone else looking at it as well. Please Pray that if it's God's will for us to buy this house that He will help the seller to relax and just follow through with it and that no one else will buy it. I'm ready to buy a home and to enjoy some of the luxuries (and problems I'm sure) of being a home owner.

Lastly, please keep my aunt in your Prayers. She goes back to the doctor this Friday to find out if her Ovarian Cancer has spread to other organs. She is scared and I can see why. I have a really good feeling about it but I still greatly desire your Prayers. I really want this to come back good and for her to start her treatments and be on the road to recovery. She is really looking at life a lot differently as anyone would when they go through something like that. I love her dearly and I want everything to be ok with her.

Just Pray dear friends. Pray, Pray, Pray and know that I love each of you and I appreciate all your thoughts, Prayers, encouragement, and comments more than you'll ever know!


Ps. I did learn that when you have ovarian cancer or in men, prostate cancer, your hormones surge and that a big indicator is that you would test positive for pregnancy on a pregnancy test. So... just a thought but ... I think it'd be a good idea for folks to take a cheap pregnancy test each month to just make sure that it wasn't showing up as pregnant. My aunt's showed up as pregnant and the nurse actually argued with her telling her she was definitely pregnant when she knew she wasn't. Just a thought and something important I wanted to pass along to you guys.

5 Remarks:

Dave and Elaine

Hang in there! We are praying you through this time. Keep in mind that God is always at work in our lives - even when it seems He is not. Praying for you...

Alicia

I am praying for you sister!

That you would be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might, and to put on the whole armour of God to be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. eph 6:10-11.

I hope every thing works out with the house, how exciting if it does. Praying for the Lord to guide you and to relax the seller.

I'm praying for your aunts health too!

"Be carful for nothing ; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God , which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

beth ewing

that's potentially exciting about the hosue. i know how badly you want to own your own home. i'll pray that works out for you. i have to say that buying a home is pretty stressful but worth it in the end.

as for the rest, we've talked about this so i'll just continue to pray for you. i know where you are b/c i was just there for two months. i am starting to feel better so i know it can happen for you too. just keep doing what you're doing and leaning on God and us.

Stacey

I'm praying for strength for you today! Also praying for the house and for your dear aunt.

I have also experienced times when it's hard for me to communicate with others. Know that you have support here!

Jenileigh

I'm glad you've made your decision.

I have never heard of that before with the pregnancy test.

Praying all goes well with the house and everything.

Hugs!