Last RE appointment and 1st High Risk OB appointment

The past few days have been crazy to put it mildly. My mind has totally ran away with me thinking that these horrible pains that I am feeling on the side opposite of my uterus was an ectopic pregnancy. I was sick all day Sunday with these crazy pains and then Tuesday night I woke up three different times from them. It was scary. Don't get me wrong, I can handle pain... but the thought of something happening to my baby drove me insane. In the mental stress of it all... I never stopped to think that my tube doesn't connect on the right. I knew that... it's just funny how the devil lets you forget those details when you need to remember them.

Anyway... I was extremely nervous today as I went for my 10:30am appointment with my RE for my first ultrasound. My RE told me that we were looking for a black circle and then a flicker, which was the heartbeat. I held my breath and then there it was. It was so cute... well to me it was haha. I had a hard time seeing the heartbeat but my hubby saw it fine. The doctor said that it had taken a little longer for the baby to move along to implant so the age was moved back to 6 weeks and 1 day. She said the heartbeat was 100bpm. She also told us that everything looked perfect for the age of the baby. I also got my baby's first picture!



I really enjoyed seeing my doctor and the staff. It was the first time I had seen them since my insemination. She went through the little due date wheel and said I would be due in January. She said around the 13th, but we'll stick with the 10th (my brother's 19th birthday) to make Billy happy. She continued to go through every month on the wheel to tell me the things I'd feel and what I could expect. She told me that the baby would more than likely be here by Christmas and at the earliest Thanksgiving.

We laughed and talked about my preggo belly and how it would look a little lopsided at times and then I got teary eyed and hugged my very special RE bye... for now. I told her that I'd be back for baby number 2 unless God had different plans.

Michael and I left and headed to Makino's Japenese Buffet. It was so good. I love the soup more than anything. I was soo hungry because I have been trying to not eat late because of the stomach issues. After a very delicious lunch, we headed to my new doctor's office at UT.

Of course it was the normal paperwork and all when I got there. Then I got a little sleepy while waiting to be called. I finally got called to do a urine sample and to be checked in (boy that urine sample was an adventure because of all the stomach issues ha!). Then Michael came back with me for another ultrasound. This time the tech (I missed my RE doing the ultrasound!) said the baby was only 5 weeks and 6 days (2 days different than my RE) and the heartbeat was 116. She said that they like to see a heartbeat of 120 but that since the baby was a young as it was that was normal. She printed me a second picture. It was a little more clear.



One of the doctor's came in and we talked. The nurse practitioner then came in and they conferred with each other. I asked some questions about vacation, stomach issues, that major pain in my side (they think it could be my right ovary still sending hormones, still swollen, maybe stretched, etc. ... my RE thought this could be it, too), eczema medication, etc. Then I had to do another urine sample and scheduled an appointment for 3 weeks later before heading home.

I cannot tell you the relief I felt when seeing that heartbeat. Am I out of the woods? Nope. But my RE did say (and I've read this) that after seeing the heartbeat, your miscarriage rate drops to about 5%. Not to say it can't happen but that its a better chance that it won't. I just Pray that it doesn't.

God is so good to me. He has heard my cries for 2 years and He has sent me this child. He has heard my cries for the past month and has blessed this ultrasound appointment. I praise Him for that! I Praise Him for this whole journey because it was all for a reason. This journey has made me who I am... I am the same yet there's a part of me that will never be the same. I Pray that I can continue to be used with through this situation.

There is plenty more I want to say and I will in the next little bit. Things are just really crazy right now because it's the end of the school year, my bro's graduation is coming up, vacation, dr. appointments, etc. I will be back!

Just keep Praying for me and the health of my baby. Pray for this crazy pain in my right, empty side. And Pray for my family. Also, please know that I am Praying for each of you as well!

Much love,




PS. Symptoms I am having: hmmm... exhausted, bathroom issues (*sigh* it's always one extreme or the other for me haha), heartburn (but that has calmed down a lot)

My Update! 4 weeks 6 days ... 46... my fav #! ... Also, link to Dena's devotional blog entry for Mother's Day!

First of all... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! I am happy that I can actually not feel so discouraged on this Mother's Day! This time last year, Shelly and Brandon's church Prayed over my Prayer cloth and mailed it to me just a few days later. I Pray that this time next year, I will be holding my precious baby! I thank God for my mother. She is the greatest mother in the entire world and is such a role model to me. I actually Praise God for all of my family and friends. Each of you mean the world to me!

I will definitely be Praying for all of my dear, sweet friends who are still traveling this road. My heart is with you. I still have the heart of an infertile and I always will. I am definitely not out of the woods either. Tomorrow, my Prayers will be with you even more so than usual. I love each of you dearly!

Quick post to update you... I went to UT today to have my levels checked. I thought it was only progesterone levels but she ended up checking both progesterone and HCG. My RE called me back tonight (she is really dedicated and thoughtful to call on a Sat. night) with the levels. My progesterone was 27 (FINALLY OVER 15!) and my HCG had moved up to 545 from 116 on Wed. and 29 on Sunday night. Praise the Lord! It worked out so well because I had started worrying today about my levels dropping or not being good and if I had have known that I had actually had them checked along with the progesterone this morning, I would have been nervous. God comforted me with that level increase when I least expected it! I just Pray (and ask that you continue to Pray as well) that the levels continue to double and that when we go for an ultrasound (not sure when yet), we will find a baby and a great heartbeat. Thanks for your sweet calls, emails, etc. I truly appreciate all of you more than you'll ever know! Praise Jesus for His blessings!

Much Love,



Ps. My sweet friend Dena has posted a devotion that she recieved for Mother's Day weekend on her blog. It is amazing! Please click here to check it out!

Psalm 37 ... God's Reminders to Me

So ... last month in the shower Psalm 37:4 came to my heart. I was disheartened and hurt and God spoke to me through that verse. Today during Prayer time I was flipping through my Bible and landed on Psalm 37. As I started reading I ran into that verse. It brought tears to my eyes to see what God was once again reminding me of. Tonight at our church my pastor opened up the service with ... Psalm 37. Once again, it brought tears to my eyes. How good God is and how awesome His promises are!

I know that no matter the outcome this weekend ... He has a big plan for my desires. I am not saying that if I get a negative result that I won't be upset and hurt... but deep down I'll always know that God has a perfect will and that He is keeping me right in the center of it and I'll be grateful for that opportunity!

(Side note: my progesterone was 72)

Please read this chapter:

Psalm 37 (King James Version)

Psalm 37

¹Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.

²For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.

³Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

⁴Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

⁵Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

⁶And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.

⁷Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.

⁸Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

⁹For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.

¹⁰For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.

¹¹But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.

¹²The wicked plotteth against the just, and gnasheth upon him with his teeth.

¹³The LORD shall laugh at him: for he seeth that his day is coming.

¹⁴The wicked have drawn out the sword, and have bent their bow, to cast down the poor and needy, and to slay such as be of upright conversation.

¹⁵Their sword shall enter into their own heart, and their bows shall be broken.

¹⁶A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked.

¹⁷For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the LORD upholdeth the righteous.

¹⁸The LORD knoweth the days of the upright: and their inheritance shall be for ever.

¹⁹They shall not be ashamed in the evil time: and in the days of famine they shall be satisfied.

²⁰But the wicked shall perish, and the enemies of the LORD shall be as the fat of lambs: they shall consume; into smoke shall they consume away.

²¹The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous sheweth mercy, and giveth.

²²For such as be blessed of him shall inherit the earth; and they that be cursed of him shall be cut off.

²³The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.

²⁴Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

²⁵I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.

²⁶He is ever merciful, and lendeth; and his seed is blessed.

²⁷Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell for evermore.

²⁸For the LORD loveth judgment, and forsaketh not his saints; they are preserved for ever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off.

²⁹The righteous shall inherit the land, and dwell therein for ever.

³⁰The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.

³¹The law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide.

³²The wicked watcheth the righteous, and seeketh to slay him.

³³The LORD will not leave him in his hand, nor condemn him when he is judged.

³⁴Wait on the LORD, and keep his way, and he shall exalt thee to inherit the land: when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see it.

³⁵I have seen the wicked in great power, and spreading himself like a green bay tree.

³⁶Yet he passed away, and, lo, he was not: yea, I sought him, but he could not be found.

³⁷Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace.

³⁸But the transgressors shall be destroyed together: the end of the wicked shall be cut off.

³⁹But the salvation of the righteous is of the LORD: he is their strength in the time of trouble.

⁴⁰And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.

5 Left Sided Eggs..... Wowing Estradiol Levels... It's all up to the Tube ... nah... Actually it's up to God!

Continuing to claim :

Genesis 30:22 (King James Version)

²²And God remembered Alesha, and God hearkened to her, and opened her womb.

Well.......

I still have all 5 eggs growing! That was great news. The even better news came at about 4pm this evening when my RE called to tell me that my estradiol levels were around 2,011 ( i think that was the exact number). WOW! Just so in shock at how well this cycle has gone. But why? My Heavenly Father has guided me through each day of it and I truly believe that my precious baby is just waiting to be formed this weekend!

My RE said that this was my absolute best chance so far. She said that it was all up to my lil left tube! I know that it's really up to my BIG, STRONG HEAVENLY FATHER! She said that my tube needs to reach out and grab these eggs and that that's why our goal is to have so many eggs. She said that sometimes with an abnormal uterus, your tube doesn't move around and grab the eggs as easily. So I Pray right now that God would let this tube be very mobile this time and that it would pick up the perfect eggs and the right amount of eggs.

Lastly, we are flirting with multiple babies again. PLEASE... Pray that God will give me what I can handle physically (with my unicornuate uterus condition). I hate the thought of being put in the situation of having to make hard decisions.


I am still claiming my faith statement. God will do this... I believe that with all my heart. He works in His time and Lord knows that I know that! I Pray that His will will be done and I honestly believe that the creation of this baby is a part of that will.

Prayer Requests:

1. Pray that my tube does it's job!
2. Pray that everything is perfectly compatible with my hubby's sample and my eggs!
3. Pray that my uterus will be ripe and ready (oh yea... she said that it looked better than it ever had to hold a baby!)
4. Pray for a safe trip to Knoxville for us and some money breaks (cheaper hotel rates haha ) along the way.
5. PLEASE... ASK YOUR CHURCHES TO PRAY FOR ME SUNDAY MORNING ... I WILL BE HAVING THIS DONE ON SUNDAY MORNING AROUND 8:30. ASK EVERYONE THAT YOU KNOW TO PRAY! AND PRAY ACCORDING TO GOD'S WILL!

Much love!

P.S. My aunt Sandy and my mom feel that this is it... I just Pray that it is!

Praise God For Answered Prayers!

Continuing to claim :

Genesis 30:22 (King James Version)

²²And God remembered Alesha, and God hearkened to her, and opened her womb.

Quick, Wonderful, Awesome Praise report and Prayer requests for you.

Yesterday, my mom went for a second mamogram to check a small lump that was found and it came back noncancerous. She also recieved the results from the genetic testing. Praise the Lord, she didn't have it which means my brother and I can't have it. Such a blessing.

I went for my Day 10 ultrasound and had 7 eggs... 5 on the left (good side) 2 on the right (not connected side but in a rare way could happen). My estradiol levels were in the 600's (642 I think)! Praise be to God for this good news.

Prayer Request:
1. Continue to Pray for my aunt who is almost finished with her chemo and is back at work as a principal.

2. Pray my eggs continue to grow on the left side. There's always a chance that they could stop growing, (like 2 of them did last month). Just Pray that if it is God's will, they will continue to grow.

3. Pray for God's will in this cycle. Pray that if it is any way possible in His will that this would be the month. I know He can and I believe in my heart that He will! I am at my wits end with this whole process but He is carrying me through it. He is soo good.

4. Last but not least, Pray that my mom's next 2 appointments (rheumatologist and doctor for her bulging disk along with her upcoming cardiologist apt. in July) go well and that she can get some relief. If it seems like my mom has been through a lot... she has. But she is the strongest woman I know and she truly is my very best friend here on earth! I Praise God for her and my dad for that matter. She is worthy of our Prayers!

Much love to each of you!
Many Prayers for your situations!
God loves you and so do I!

Update Month 6 Begins

I went to the doctor yesterday and my ultrasound showed no cysts. I waited for my estradiol levels until about 1:30 and they were 40 which was good. So I was given the green light to go. Thank God for that!!! I need lots of left sided eggs that are either bigger or at least growing at the same rate as the right sided ones. I also need Prayers that I won't have to be put in the situation of multiples .... so many that my uterus won't hold I mean.

I had a more relaxing day yesterday than I usually do because I actually took the whole day off. I went to Target (I love Target) and got some Japanese mushroom soup to keep in the fridge for lunch today and tomorrow for mom and I. I also ran a few errands.

Church was great tonight as usual. I love my pastor. There is no better pastor ... he is so blessed with his abilities. And... his sermons always help me to grow and that's so important!

I haven't been feeling so good. I don't know if it's the double dose of hormones daily or what. My hips are soo sore from so many shots for the past 65+ days. Please Pray for me. I'm not a baby when it comes to needles... it's not really a big deal to me, but I am sore and it does hurt so I covet those Prayers. Also, if any of you have advice for making the swelling and knots go down, feel free to pass that along.

Continue to Pray for my mom and her tests results and upcoming doctor's appointments (and the scheduling and rescheduling of them around work) and my aunt.

Much love and Prayers to each of you!

Progesterone Month 5 Post Op

Just a quick note to tell you my progesterone results.... 22. My doctor said that was good, though I have to admit I really thought that it would be higher since I'm taking these shots. But oh well. I'm just thankful to God that it was higher than it was last month. Thank you Father!

I feel crampy and my knees ache ( just like they always do before my visitor). I just Pray that it is this month. I figure that I may be late starting if it isn't because of the progesterone supplements. I've heard they can delay your period. Any of you guys have that happen?

3rd IUI and My Faith Statment

The IUI went well yesterday. My cervix had to be moved a bit again (as always) and there was a bit of bleeding. There were also a few issues that made them have to spin the specimen a bit longer because of thickness but it all turned out well. I took my Prayer cloth from Shelly and Brandon's church and placed it over my left ovary and uterus area. I Prayed the entire time that I had to wait after the procedure was completed.

Michael and I went down after Church on Wed. It was such a long day with our district walk-thru at work, my nephew (cousin) coming to visit, mamaw stopping by, Church, and then a middle of the night trip to Knoxville! We didn't arrive at our hotel until like after midnight. We ended up staying at a closer hotel this time and we even got a discount through Michael's work.

I felt myself getting ill Wed. but I just kept pushing myself because that's what I do best! haha Anyway, it hit Thursday morning. When I say hit, I mean it hit hard. I was exhausted from coughing and sneezing all night, so much so that I didn't even want to be touched let alone have an IUI. But I went and dropped off the specimen and then went back to the hotel to have a contential breakfast with my hubby before heading back for the procedure.

The doctor put me on progesterone in oil shots and I had to overnight them from Barron's Pharmacy in Ohio. The 2 vials of PIO and the needles and syringes plus the overnight shipping was $96 bucks. Doesn't seem like a lot but it is when you are already paying hundreds for your meds in the first place plus a couple hundred for the IUI and travel/rooms. Mentally exhausting.

So anyway, my doctor and I laughed for a few minutes together about me and my random "shot" moments on the side of the highway. She also told me to let her know if this cold got worse, ie. a fever, so that she could put me on a safe antibiotic. I had to end up calling this morning because it did just that.

After the IUI yesterday, Michael and I went to Wasabi's, my favorite Japenese place in Knoxville. He always wants to take me because I love it but I had to force myself to enjoy it yesterday because I felt so bad. I slept most of the way home and then most of the evening.

I was watching Pastor John Hagee's sermon on writing down your request as a statment of faith and not believing that God can do it but that God will do it. It was really uplifting and I enjoyed it thoroughly. So I am going to write my faith statement on my blog since I consider it my safe place.

"I am asking God to bless me with my very own child(ren) and a personal pregnancy with each one this month. I know that God cares for me and is in control. I also know that HE CAN. But beyond that, my step of faith this month is to realize that HE WILL."

Pastor Hagee mentioned that it is scary to write something so affirmative down on paper and I must admit that it is. It's hard to totally say I am giving over totally to this faith and it will happen. But, shouldn't I be able to let my faith be that strong? Well here is my attempt to try!

So... please continue to Pray for the success of this cycle if it be God's will and for me to get better soon from this silly cold. Keep Praying about all the previous requests, too.

News From Yesterday's Ultrasound

I went back for my final ultrasound yesterday. Two of my eggs had stopped growing so I am left with 2. I, of course, have worried about that. However, I do realize that maybe it was an answer to my Prayer to God that I wouldn't have to be put in a decision to decide about extra babies that my little uterus didn't have room for.

My doctor called me at about 5:30 yesterday evening after I had just gotten finished crying out some of my frustration and was reading my Bible. She told me that my estradiol level was 469 which was right where she wanted it. I asked her if she still thought I had a good shot at it this cycle and she said yes. She went on to say that we were going to be extremely aggressive next cycle if this one didn't work because she really wants me pregnant by the end of the next cycle. This has been my biggest fear the entire time, not getting pregnant in this 6 month window after surgery because this is the best time for it to work. The aggressive cycle she was telling me about will include triple the meds I have been on which is triple the money that I've been paying. She also said that we'd really be flirting with multiples with the increase in meds. Talk about sick. I felt like I was going to throw up after calculating that up.

I completely let go after hanging up and I just cried and grieved my heart out. Here I had just gotten good news about my estradiol levels and I was already worrying about money for the next cycle because I have to order all that this week. I cried and cried and my mother (my best earthly friend in the world) was at a loss. She, of course, started tearing up and told me that it was so hard to watch me daily hang on by a thread. That pretty much sums up how I feel. Just hanging by a tiny thread that is ready to break at any given moment.

Guys, I'm sick of worrying about getting pregnant, yet I can't let go of it. I'm so mentally exhausted that I can't even remember what it was I use to think about before infertility. I can't remember who I was, because I have definitely lost most of that person in these last 2 years. I tired of being on pins and needles every day. I'm physically exhausted with all the running and trying to do all my normal things as well. I'm tired of having to answer questions all the time out in public and having to act ok when sometimes I'm really not. God please help me! I feel like I am trapped in a hole and I can't see my way clear.

I know things could be worse. I am so thankful that I have a wonderful family who are all still alive and ok. I'm thankful for my Salvation and for all my many blessings. I just don't know how else to deal with my dream of becoming a mother slipping further away. I trust God and I know He has a plan. I just definitely need your Prayers to help me continue on. I gave this cycle to God on the day it started and I have been trying to not think so much about it. I was doing really good with that until yesterday.

I haven't the slightest idea how I will come up with these massive amounts of money each month and the consequences of an extremely aggressive cycle, ie. multiple babies. I'm trying to just not think and lean on God. Please Pray that I can do just that.

In the midst of all my personal turmoil, I still want to thank my precious Savior for His love and His patience with me. HE alone knows what my frame can take and I trust Him no matter how hard this is. I love you Father.

God's Will ... CD 10 Month 5 after surgery

Hi guys:

Well... we all Prayed for God's will (which we always do) and His will for me today was to have 3-4 really good eggs on my good side. Praise His name! He is much better to me than I deserve. The doctor said that this month looks really promising. She said my eggs seemed to be moving much faster than last month and my estradiol levels came back at 282 at CD 10. Last month on CD 9 my levels were 82. This is a big improvement. I go back on Friday for another ultrasound and then she'll let me know when the insemination will be. Continue to Pray for this cycle.

There was one concern that she had dealing with the fact that my odds for triplets is increased this month. She said that my uterus couldn't hold triplets and that if I got pregnant with them, my high risk OB would bring up the reduction issue in order to save 2 of them. The main reason is because my uterus will want to contract when it feels full (like a normal one would with a baby at full term) and the more babies, the sooner that is. She said that with 3 it would probably be around 20 weeks which would mean they would all be born then and that is too early to save them. She said that it may not even happen but it was a possibility. I told her I just didn't know how I could do that. I honestly don't want to be in that situation but in my situation this is the sort of cycle we have been trying to achieve which automatically puts me at those risks. Just Pray for God to bless me with what He would see fit. Pray that if it is His will for a precious baby to come into my life this month, that this situation would be something I wouldn't have to be in. I know He knows what's best.


Love to each of you!

Ps. Thanks for your Prayers for me, my family and my aunt!

U/S tomorrow CD 10 Month 5 after surgery & Genetic Testing

Hi guys,

Tomorrow will be my ultrasound to see how the eggs are growing. The Prayer request is simple, Pray for God's will. I do Pray that His will involves left sided, good eggs with good estradiol... BUT .... if it doesn't, He knows what He's doing. He's in total control and I trust Him. It is definitely scary sometimes, but He's the real deal! So just Pray!

Another Prayer request .... my aunt, who is battling ovarian cancer, had genetic testing to see if there were any genes that put her at a higher risk for developing cancer. The testing came back and the doctor told her that she has a mutated gene the labels her with HNPCC Lynch Syndrome. According to her doctor in Lexington, Ky, she is one of the only cases in this area. The only other case in this area (possibly even in Ky) is in Somerset, Ky which is not very far from me. The doctor said that we are more than likely distantly related to the folks who have it there. As a result, my mother, brother and I have to be tested.

So.... what is HNPCC Lynch Syndrome. Here's a brief synoposis:


(From About.com)

Most people have about a 6% chance of developing colon cancer at some point in their lives; people with Lynch syndrome have about an 80% chance. Lynch syndrome is caused by a mutation in any of five genes, and is also called hereditary nonpolyposis colon cancer (HNPCC).

Preventing Cancer in Women with Lynch Syndrome
Lynch syndrome is a genetic condition that predisposes people to colon cancer and other cancers as well. For example, women with Lynch Syndrome also have about a 50 percent chance of developing uterine cancer and a 10 percent chance of developing ovarian cancer. This study looked at ways to prevent the other cancers from occurring.

HNPCC Settles in America
Scientists combined genetic testing with genealogy to identify a cancer-causing genetic mutation brought to the U.S. by a German immigrant. People with this mutation have about an 80 percent risk of developing colorectal cancer at some point in their lives.


So, to make a long story short we were very upset on Sunday when all this news came about. Those chances are so extremely high and it stresses me more for my family than even for myself. So, please Pray for our tests to come back negative without the gene IF it be God's will. And please Pray for peace through all this as well. I know my aunt is scared but she is totally trusting God which is the best thing anyone could do. I love her dearly and I just Pray that she continues to do well as she finishes up her chemo in the couple of months.

She sent me this email and I wanna share it with all my infertility friends because these truths are so vitally important for us to know. God loves us and He wants to care for us... we just have to let Him.

A different take on the Commandments...

TO: YOU
FROM: GOD

Effective immediately, please be aware that there are changes you need to make in your life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill my promises to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in this life. I apologize for any inconvenience, but after all that I am doing, this seems very little to ask of you. I know I already gave you the 10 Commandments. Keep them. But follow these modern TEN COMMANDMENTS, also.

1.) QUIT WORRYING
Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?

2.) PUT IT ON THE LIST
Something needs to be done or taken care of; Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let Me be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to me. And although my to-do-list is long, I am after all, God. I can take care of anything you put into my hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.

3.) TRUST ME
Once you've given your burdens to me, quit trying to take them back, Trust in me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on my list. Problems with finances? Put them on my list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For my sake, put it on my list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.

4.) LEAVE IT ALONE
Don't wake up one morning and say, "Well, I'm feeling much stronger how, I think I can handle it from here. "Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with me and forget about them. Just let me do my job.

5.) TALK TO ME
I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I'm in control. But there's one thing I pray you never forget. Please don't forget to talk to me - OFTEN! I love you. I want to hear your voice. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with me. I want to be your dearest friend.

6.) HAVE FAITH
I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in me that I know what I'm doing. Trust me, you wouldn't want the view from my eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

7.) SHARE
You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven't heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten.

8.) BE PATIENT
I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes me a little longer than you expect to handle something on my to-do-list? Trust in my timing, for my timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, and rush.

9.) BE KIND
Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for my sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical. Please know I love each of your differences.

10.) LOVE YOURSELF
As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for one reason only - to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of Love. Love me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself It makes my heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me. Don't ever forget that!!

With all my heart I love you, God.

Much Blessed Love,

No Cysts and Time Frame

There were no cysts! Praise God! The doctor told me that the only cysts that she would be concerned with would be those on the left and since there weren't any at all, we didn't have to worry about that. I am following the same game plan as last month. 2 amps of powder to 1 cc of fluid daily. I go back for another ultrasound next Wed to see if I have any good left sided eggs. PRAY!!! If that is the case, she will tell me to either continue to nourish them with shots for more growth or tell me that we are ready for an IUI if there are more than 2. She did say that since my progesterone was so low this past month she is going to put me on progesterone shots after insemination (God willing we get that far with this cycle!) After I get pregnant, I will switch over to the suppositories.

I asked her about her time frame for me because I have been worried that she may want me to go to IVF soon. IVF is a wonderful thing but it is just something that I do not want to do unless I have to based on various reasons, one of which being the price $10,000. If God leads me to it, I will follow through just as my dear friend Elaine is doing right now. It truly is a blessed option but I really want to see if this can happen without it.

Anyway, her time frame is 1 year from surgery. You have no idea how much pressure that took off my shoulders because I have been worried that it would be at the 6 month mark which will be this May. I still Pray that God will send a child by the 6 month mark because your chances are increased but I trust Him and His will. He has the perfect time! Praise His precious name!

Daily meditating on my promise from God via my blessed earthly father....

Genesis 30:22: "And God remembered Alesha, and God hearkened to her, and opened her womb."

Quick Request... U/S tomorrow morning

I wanted to ask for your Prayers as I go to an ultrasound appointment tomorrow to make sure I don't have any ovarian cysts from the last cycle. If I do, this cycle will get canceled which I really don't want but just Pray for God's perfect will. And Pray for me!

Much Love,

PRAY ... Friday Morning ..... IUI

Guys... just a quick note to humbly ask for your Prayers on Friday morning. Michael and I will probably head out of town tomorrow night to avoid all the stress of getting up and traveling so early on Friday morning so this may be my last chance to get online. Please Pray for God's will to be accomplished. Pray that if it is possible for this to be the month that Baby Brittain-Goodlett is conceived. Thanks in advance to each of you and to my Precious Heavenly Father from which all these blessing flow!!!

Love to each of you,

Alesha

Ps. Pray for a dear friend of mine who is going through kidney failure right now after a major surgery. He needs our Prayers tremendously!

Estradiol Levels on Day 11

Just a really short update to let you know that my estradiol levels yesterday were 286. I asked the doctor if that was ok and she said yes that was around what they should be at the size they are so far. THANK YOU HEAVENLY FATHER FOR ANSWERED PRAYER! Just Pray they continue to grow and that Friday morning is a success. Love to each of you!

Day 11 update

Today I went back to my RE for another ultrasound. My eggs were growing still and the right side was still not ahead of my good, left side. Other than that nothing really was different. She didn't check my Estradiol levels this time but will when I return on Sunday morning at 7:15 for another ultrasound.

Here's a major Prayer request for you.... my estradiol level of 62 was, in my RE's words, "a little low." I've been trying to read and learn about all that and I am learning a bit but it is kind of scaring me somewhat. Those of you who know me know that I am the most major worrywart in the entire world (and I am trying to overcome this but it is a daily battle... my pastor is helping with a series of messages on "worry"). I'm not sure what all this means and it was so busy in her office this morning I didn't really get to converse with her much about it. I am so mentally exhausted with the thoughts of this level meaning something not so good. I need you Christians to Pray so hard!!! Please... PRAY that those levels INCREASE on Sunday! I feel like God has brought me so far... and I really believe He'll see me through but I have satan here on my shoulder telling me that those levels may mean bad things for this cycle and any future cycles. Pray that God will defy this if it is His will.

All week as I have been on the road, I have listened to a cd by Soldiers Of The Cross entitled "Have You Been To Calvary?" This gospel group consists of the parents of one of my students and one of their married couple friends. Ethan, my student, brought me this wrapped in Valentine's Day paper on Tuesday and I was thrilled to listen to it. It is wonderful! The 2 songs that I have listened to over and over to get me through this week are "He's An On Time God" and "Lord Keep Me In Your Will." These are the two main themes of my heart this week. I realize that I have an uphill climb but that I have a Father who is strong enough to carry me up the mountain. I know He does everything on time and in His will.

This week has been jammed packed with doctor's appointments, work, shots, tons of driving, speaking to my First Priority group, Church, Chiropractor visit, tutoring and reading (which I am trying to rediscover because of my love for it as a young adult and child). It has been so hard mentally and physically to make it until tonight... Friday night. I thank God for seeing me through this week and for blessing me as He has so richly done. Please just Pray for me as I continue to go through this storm... May God receive all the glory for my life and my situation.

Day 9 update

So... I had an early morning today. I was up at 5 and out the door by 5:30 to head to my doctor. She checked my estradiol levels and they were 62... she wants them to continue to increase to 200. I had 3-4 eggs on my good side a few on the other side. She said that it was good that the other side didn't have any eggs larger than my good side. I have to go back again on Friday to get another ultrasound. Please Pray that these eggs continue to mature and that they continue to grow in size as well. I have to continue my 2 amps of HMG with 1cc of fluid today and tomorrow and then she'll tell me where to go from there next.

Michael's friend from work called him today and shared with him that he had had us on his heart last night. He said he felt extremely burdened for us and Prayed very hard for us last night. The funny thing, actually the "God" thing, was that Michael hadn't even talked to David about it in months and he had no idea I was heading to the doctor today. I'm so thankful to have so many good friends out there that are burdened for us. That's truly a blessing. It's great to know that so many folks are interceding on our behalf. That's why I love my friends at work so much... they are always so faithful in their Prayers. The same goes for my most wonderful, awesome blogger pals. Talk about encouragement.

I will keep you posted... just keep on Praying. God's listening and I'm feeling your Prayers!

love to you all...

Alesha :D

Ps. Does anyone know a lot about the Estradiol levels?

Shots....... Shots......... Shots

So... they arrived. I had cycle day 1 on Tuesday and my shots arrived Wednesday evening though I didn't get to pick them up at the post office until Thursday, the day I had to start them. I set aside 5pm daily to take them. I'm already tired of mixing my 2 amps of powder with 1 cc of fluid. And since they are from Europe the packaging is so cool. Instead of rubber tops, these are glass and you have to just break the glass off to mix. It's actually easier to me because you don't have to tilt the vials like you do with the USA ones.

The doctor has me scheduled for my first ultrasound (they monitor more closely when it is a straight injectible cycle) on Wednesday at 8:15am. I hope that I have tons of eggs growing on my left. Pray that I do. I Pray that this will all be over soon so that I can move to the next stage of my life... having my very own child.

I know I have said it before but I can't wait to have a child that I can let God use my hands to mold and shape. I want it's life to glorify God in as many ways as possible and I need someone to sing along to my WoW cd's in the car with me since no one else will. How precious! Please keep Praying for me and my little miracle. And in advance.... thank You Heavenly Father for my precious child that You intimately know even at this very moment.

And........

I have 1 egg that should ovulate on my left ovary (the good side)! Praise the Lord! Those were actually my first words on the examining table today. God is truly good and He was good even last month when I had no left eggs at all. Just be Praying that He will send our child this month if it is possible in His will.

I did ask the doctor a couple of questions:

1. Would the not so good blood flow to my left side affect my left sided uterus when I get pregnant?
She said no. That it was only my ovary that was being affected by it.

2. Do I have a right rudimentary horn (a Unicornuate Uterus issue)?
She also said no and that if I had have she would have recommended another surgery to take it out. If you'll notice the drawing of my uterus on the right hand side of this blog, you'll see what I'm talking about and I should probably find a new picture because technically that little bitty uterus connected to the right ovary isn't there for me (that's the horn).

3. Should I order my shots anyway?
She said yes I should and that if I didn't need them that we could sell them to other women who are ordering them since they are from overseas.

So some good answers to some burning questions that I had. Pray guys... Pray so hard. I am so ready to find out that I am pregnant and to experience every little thing that goes along with it. I don't even care to puke or be ill.... I'd do anything to have a child at this point.

Thanks for your Prayers. They have been so uplifting to me and I can feel them surrounding me daily. I don't know what I'd do without you guys! You are appreciated more than you could ever know.

Ps. I mentioned to my RE the fact that my aunt had been diagnoised with ovarian cancer. She told me that she was really lucky that they had caught it in Stage 1b (what they moved her down to after the results came back). She was actually beyond lucky... she was blessed! She went for her second round of chemo yesterday and they tested her hormone levels which need to drop to 5 or lower (and this is HCG levels we are talking about here... soo wild to me). Her level had been 97,000 and had dropped to 66 with just that one treatment. Praise God!

No eggs

This is a quick post to ask each of you to Pray for me.. struggling a lot here. I went to the doctor yesterday (Christmas Eve) and I had no eggs on my good side. I did have 2 on the right side. She said that you can get pregnant from the opposite side but that it is highly unlikely. God still performs miracles though! Please Pray for a Christmas miracle.

I'm really shocked that with the mixed cycle of pills and shots I only produced 2 eggs. That's less than I produce on the pills by themselves! I just don't understand it. Next cycle will be all shots.

Also, when I got home yesterday (a 3hr drive round trip) I was informed that my aunt was heading into emergency surgery. We then left to go there (another 3 hr drive round trip)They found a huge tumor on her ovary and it is cancer. The doctor seems really positive but she is going to have a lot to go through. Please Pray for her. It was an extremely long day yesterday.

Ps. Does anyone know of anyone who has gotten pregnant from the opposite side with the opposite tube?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRECIOUS SAVIOR! THANK YOU FOR BEING MY BEST FRIEND!!!
LUKE 1:37