And God remembered Alesha .... yet again ....

PRAISE GOD FOR HIS PRECIOUS MIRACLES! 

Genesis 30:22  And God remembered Alesha, and God hearkened to her, and opened her womb..... A SECOND TIME!

Please Pray for our newest journey and for the health of our newest addition!

Zoey's Baby Dedication / Mike's 1st Father's Day

Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

This was my husband's first Father's Day along with Baby Dedication day at our church.  It was a wonderful day.  Zoey was dressed in a solid white dress with a couple of pink/purple flowers on the left hand side.  She wore a pink headband and bow on her head to match the flowers and light pink
shoes (newborn size finally!)  She was perfect!

We got to church right on time (we weren't a few minutes early like I like to be).  Our pastor called all the babies who had never been dedicated up to the front and talked about the importance of raising children in a Christian home.


He also presented them with a certificate committing the parents (we sign) and him as the pastor (he signed) to raising this child up in the Lord.  It also contained a beautiful poem. 

They were also given a Little Lamb Bible.  Zoey's is pink of course.  So sweet.  Her first, tiny Bible!

After the service, I took Zoey up to have her picture made with our pastor to celebrate her baby dedication.  I didn't realize but I had my camera on landscape mode so the pictures look slightly strange but nevertheless, I did get them. 

Zoey also gave her daddy a Father's Day Card with a gift inside.  Here she is holding the card to give to her daddy!

Mike had a good Father's day.  It was low key but that's how he wanted it.  Just quality time with his lil girl!

Dear Heavenly Father,


Thank you for such an opportunity!  Thank you for my baby girl!  She is beautiful and precious.  She is all that I could have ever hoped for and dreamed of.  She has the sweetest spirit even as a small child.  She has a beautiful countenance.  Her big, beautiful eyes just dance with joy and that joy comes from You.  She came directly from your arms to ours.  How blessed beyond measure we are!  Please continue to bless us with opportunities to help her grow in You.  Remind us of this blessing daily, in the easy moments and those that are far from easy.  Remind us of the commitment we have to raise her to know all about your wonderful Son and our Savior, Jesus Christ.  Let us never forget this honor that has been bestowed upon us.  Thank you Father for your gifts, for your love, and for being the most amazing Father the world has ever known.  Happy Father's Day to you Heavenly Father! 


Love,


Your Daughter


We are blessed, honored, and humbled by the chance to raise this beautiful baby girl.  God has blessed us with her and words could never express the miracle she is in our lives.  She has been through so much in her short life already.... so much more than most children face for years!  But she is tough and God has watched her through it all.  In His arms she has resided and she is blessed as are we! 

May 4, 2009

Gen. 30:22 - And God remembered Alesha, and God hearkened to her, and opened her womb.

It's my FindOutIversary!  LoL

One Year Ago Today .... I was blessed to hear the words "Your test was POSITIVE!"  Those were words that I have yearned for my entire life!  I never knew back in the days that I played momma to my baby dolls that I would be finding out I was pregnant over the phone from an endocrinologist.  Nevertheless, God blessed me and I was indeed pregnant.  I had no idea the trials we would face in the months ahead... the major bleed... threatened miscarriage ... bedrest ... strange numbers on the quad screen ... physical pain from the pressure of such a small uterus and a baby that was outgrowing it.... 22 days in Knoxville, Tn (2 of which I was in labor).... NEC... etc.  The list goes on and on.  But God wanted this little girl to make it into the world and I am so glad that He did.  He has blessed us so and we could never give Him the praise He rightfully deserves for this miracle on top of all the other miracles that He has done in our lives, the most important being the fact that He died to Save our souls!  What a good God we serve!

One year ago today, I was exhausted and shocked.  I was amazed.  I was excited and scared.  I felt relief after such a hard battle.  I began many, many more trips to Knoxville averaging every 2 days for awhile then every 3 weeks then every 2 weeks.  I felt blessed, I still do.  One year ago today God gave me the biggest surprise ever!  He gave me what I have wanted my entire life... the opportunity to be pregnant and to nurture a child from day 1 until the day I die.  I enjoyed my pregnancy so much.  It was such an experience.  And it all started 1 year ago today.  Click here to read the post from the day I found out that I was pregnant with Zoey Danielle!

Welcome Zoey Danielle

I am so sorry that I haven't updated you guys in almost 2 months! I have been a little bit busy with lil Miss Zoey Danielle who arrived on November 28, 2009 at 7:27pm. She weighed 5lbs and almost 8 oz and was 17.75 inches long. Zoey has only been home for almost 2 weeks now as she has been through quite a bit as a preemie but that story is soon to follow as is the story of my labor, the time leading up to it and her birth. But for now, here is Zoey:



THANK YOU HEAVENLY FATHER FOR THIS AMAZING GIFT! I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT SHE IS HERE AND THAT I GOT TO EXPERIENCE THIS WONDERFUL MIRACLE OF LIFE. I AM SO HUMBLED AND OVERJOYED AND I PRAISE YOU FOR THIS ENTIRE EXPERIENCE. WE PRAISE YOU AND WORSHIP AT YOUR FEET!

30.5 week appointment ... (Currently 32 weeks/8 months)

I'm so behind. I haven't even scanned the last 3 ultrasound pics and actually 2 of them I have put somewhere for safe keeping and can't figure out where I put them! OOOH WELLLL.... I'll get it all figured out!

I did go to the doctor for my 30.5 week appointment. Everything looked great! Zoey weighed 3lbs and 8 ozs. She's growing like a weed! My fFN test came back negative again which was great! 2 more weeks of no labor. Enjoyed talking with my ARNP there about all the soon to come stuff.

A few days after my appointment (Saturday to be exact) I started spotting just a small amount. Zoey was kicking so I knew she was ok but I still felt like I should call. The spotting was NOTHING major at all... just 2 little dots but still... better safe than sorry. So I called my doctor while I was right outside to the doors to relax and watch The Christmas Carol. He felt like I should come on in to be sure my cervix wasn't opening. And so we took off to Knoxville and I missed the movie : ( haha

We got there around 3:30pm and went straight to labor and delivery triage. I was hooked up to monitors and checked. Zoey was doing great and it was so great to hear her heart beating so loudly on the high tech doppler. After being checked, the resident said that I had a BV infection and possibly trying to get a kidney stone. I had quite a bit of blood cells in my urine that led them to think that... I think that's how she explained it. I was put on Flagyl and sent home.

The infection really clicked when I realized I had it because I had really felt bad at work the two days before. It honestly hurt to walk and there was extra pressure. I almost wondered if I was trying to go into labor despite what the test said. Apparently the BV infection was causing my extra pressure and pain.

I stayed home from church the next day and felt really rough. That evening I went to get into the shower and passed a glob of mucus. Sorry I know that's TMI but if you are reading you are probably TTC or a mom already and understand. I freaked out and called my friend Deanna. I thought it was my mucus plug (it very well could have been). Deanna said that it sounded like her story with hers. I tried to page my doctor but he couldn't be reached (I can always reach one of them usually) so they gave me to a resident. She told me to just monitor for contractions or water leakage. I still was worried so after I showered (and had Mike shave my legs because I couldn't reach them lol), I packed a couple of things for me and packed stuff for Zoey... just in case.

I called my doctor's office and left a message for my trusted ARNP that works with me and my 2 doctors. Before she could call back, I had passed another good sized glob. She told me to continue to monitor and that if I felt anything to head that way and they would hook me up to the monitors. Thankfully... I have been ok since then. Praise the Lord!

Zoey is moving still and I can feel her little butt up near my ribs at times. Sunday, I would rub on her and she'd respond by kicking back. We did this for like 10 minutes. So sweet! She also decides she wants in on the action when my family and I are talking... she starts moving around. I can't wait to meet her.

I am technically 8 months pregnant now! WOW! Hard to believe we are almost there! I am in love with this precious little one and growing more in love with her daily!

As far as feeling ok... I feel ok. lol I have a lot of lower pressure and it hurts to walk by the end of a work day. I have once again gotten another cold... so I am back on antibiotics (this time amoxicillin instead of Zpak) and Mucinex. I am still exhausted but doing a bit better with that. I had to work late 2 times last week... one of which was working 2 ball games after work. That took it's toll and left me with swollen feet and exhausted the next day. I'm still running to the bathroom all night (I never, ever did this before pregnancy) and if I am too sleepy to get up.. I am in pain by the time I actually do! But all in all, I'm doing great and I Praise God that He has blessed us to make it this far!

Tomorrow I head back to the doctor for my 32.5 week appointment. I'll keep you posted as to what we find out! Continue to Pray for us as we Pray for you!

Much love in Jesus!

Happy 30 Weeks To Us!

PRAISE YOU LORD! WE HAVE MADE IT TO 30 WEEKS TODAY! I PRAY THAT YOUR HAND WILL CONTINUE TO BE UPON MY LIL ZOEY AND THAT SHE WILL BE BORN AT THE RIGHT TIME AND BE HEALTHY AND READY TO MEET HER FAMILY. I LOVE YOU FATHER AND I THANK YOU FOR THIS BLESSED OPPORTUNITY!

28.5 Week Update

Just a quick update. Everything was well at our 28.5 week apt. My doctor listened to my lungs (I had a bad cold) and said they sounded clear. He told me to continue taking the Zpack and my Mucinex. I did and I am much better this week. I will be 30 weeks this Sunday and it feels so strange to be this far along. I finally have the "line" down my belly. It isn't very dark but I was so impressed to look down Sunday morning, while getting ready for Church, and see it. Crazy how we infertiles enjoy the little things that we spent all that time reading about. I am getting bigger by the moment it feels like. I really need to add some pictures on here. I will try to do that soon. Things have been off kilter with this move and all. I haven't had the chance to scan the last two ultrasounds (which were hard to make out) since we moved. Hopefully, I will get it all pulled together.

At 7.5 months, Zoey is making big movements. I think she's getting a little crowded because the movements are becoming different than they were in the last month or so. She moves sometimes so hard that I can see my belly actually move. It is the neatest thing. I always wondered what that would feel like and it truly is the best feeling. I Praise God for this opportunity and I continue to Pray that it will come to each of you my dear friends or that the "right" road for a child will come to you. After watching Elaine go through her adoption of Little Bug, I know that there are many routes to happiness as a parent. None are better than others, just dependant on God's will.

I also feel like Zoey has developed a sleep pattern. I read that they can do that. She wakes up at 8am every morning. Now will I be that blessed when she gets here? I dunno but it's fun right now to expect to feel her waking up at that time and to actually feel it. She's already stubborn and continues to dislike the doppler. She loves for my mom to talk to her and always starts kicking. Mom is the only person she will kick for besides me. She will be a spoiled child when it comes to clothes because she already has more than me (ok ... not exactly but she has a lot) and she's not even here. She just keeps getting more outfits from sweet friends.

Her daddy is getting ready to put flooring down in her room. No more carpet... but some hardwood and an area rug. I think it will look really good and I'm excited to get this ball rolling. It's making me nervous to think that her room isn't finished yet. But we are going as fast as we can go with all this house stuff and still aren't finished.

On another note... please Pray for my friend Stephanie. She went through infertility for years, too. Her daddy went home to be with Jesus last night after a very short battle with bone cancer and the family is so hurt. I can't even imagine. She is glad that he isn't suffering, but like any of us... they miss him and are devastated. Please Pray for them anytime you think of it... especially tomorrow evening during the visitation and the funeral.

Also, please Pray for one of my students who was diagnosed with leukemia today. Pray for the Lord to be with her and to take care of her and her family.

Last but not least, please Pray for my Pastor's son. He is 22, a senior in college majoring in theology, married a little over a year and has a baby due about 4 days before our Zoey is due. He was diagnosed with a rare children's cancer that comes from the embryonic fluid that is left over from infancy. It is called Ewings Sarcoma Pnet. It has been a real shock to our church and he and his family have been battling so much. Please Pray that the Lord will guide the course of action for the doctors to take to help him rid his body of this cancer. Pray that Jesus would just touch him and heal him. He has been called to preach and even feels led to take over our church when his dad is not able anymore. I really feel that God has a plan for this young man's life and I feel like He is molding him into the man he needs to be to take on such a big role.

Please join me in Prayer about these situations as well as continuing to remember my family and this pregnancy. I love you guys and I am still burdened daily for you. I remember you in Prayer every time I Pray. God bless!

Baby Shower and Update 26.5 weeks

So... I know most of my blogger friends live states and states away.... but I still wanted to extend an invite to my Baby Shower this coming Monday at 3:30pm at my school. If any of you are in the neighborhood and want to stop by just let me know and I can give you more details! I am excited and nervous. I know it's crazy but I hate having all the attention focused on me.... can you believe that? haha But I am excited to get all kinds of baby stuff and to get to start working on Zoey's nursery again the coming weeks.

In other news... WE HAVE MOVED! WOW! Let me just say that I am completely exhausted and I had forgotten just how much work it is to move. I have to collect a few more cleaning supplies from my apartment ( we overhauled it on Tuesday evening so that it would be nice when we moved out) and then I will turn in our keys tomorrow or Saturday morning. It is bittersweet to me. I loved my apartment. It was very nice and very big (like 1,400 square feet). We have had a lot of good memories there including coming home from work as a newly pregnant woman who was completely in shock. haha : ) But, we have outgrown our apartment and we definitely are loving our new home and all the extra square footage plus the garage and the huge yard we have. I will be loving the pool this summer as well : ) God has truly blessed us!

I haven't posted in almost a month! I usually try to update at least every 2 weeks so you can tell I've been busy. My doctor's appointment at 24.5 weeks consisted of a cervical length check (3.5cm) and a Fetal fibronectin test. This test detects fetal fibronectin, which is a glue like substance that begins to be discharged when you are within weeks of going into labor. If you get a positive reading, this means you could go into labor in the next 2 weeks. If you get a negative reading, there is a 99% chance that you will not go into labor in the next 2 weeks. The negative test is much more reliable than the positive. My test that week came back negative. That was great news because I wanted baby Zoey to keep growing and I wanted to continue to stay off bed rest so that I could enjoy my baby shower in the coming weeks. I didn't get to see Zoey at that appointment and I was disappointed but I was told I'd see her every time after that. I did have my second glucose screening and it actually came back better than the first. My level was 115 which was well within normal range. I was so glad! My thyroid came back fine as well.

Yesterday was my 26.5 week appointment. I again had the fetal fibronectin test and it came back negative again. Thank the Lord! My cervix measured 3.34 which is a bit shorter than before but I did have a different ultrasound tech (my favorite one is moving back to her hometown :( ) and they weren't concerned as long as it stays about 3 we are in good shape. I did get to see Zoey and I have 2 pictures of her (her spine mainly because she wouldn't roll over for good pictures. She now weighs 2lbs and was sleeping on her belly with one foot all the way up to her butt. So cute! Her heartbeat was 138 yesterday and I think 142 last time.

At 26.5 weeks she is moving around a lot. She as been for about 5 weeks or so now. I love feeling her. I also love just listening to her heartbeat. I even went out to the car during my planning period the other day to listen to her because I hadn't heard her heart in a few days due to all the moving and unpacking. She apparently still doesn't like the doppler and loves to kick it when I start trying to listen. It's quite funny. You can hear the thud on the machine and see my belly move. She's been doing that since the first time I listened to her with it. I thank God for these little moments that she and I share! I also thank God that my mom was able to feel her move today and to actually see my belly move. It just tickled her too death. She is so in love with this little girl already as are we all. Thank You Heavenly Father for this tiny, 2lb blessing growing inside me as we speak!

I have purchased her stroller, car seat, and high chair. I got all 3 at Kmart at a really great price. They are brown and green because I want to be able to reuse them if I am blessed with another child down the road. I didn't really want to put a possible, future baby boy in a pink stroller haha The print is called African Safari and I really like the brown and green together. Her room is BRIGHT PINK. My dear friend Tina is suppose to come paint a Care Bear mural on the wall if we can ever get my hubby's stuff out of there and we still have to hang the Care Bear border as well as get the furniture from my SIL. Still a lot to do.

I feel ok. I am staying really, really sore down low like where my torso meets my legs...I guess the groin area. I am also feeling more pressure down low. My feet and legs are swelling some at the end of the day but nothing that is too major. I am still grouchy a lot haha I also have hormonal episodes and speak my mind a lot more than I use to (sorta like I did when I was young). But I'm not too awful haha. The heartburn is getting worse... that's the one symptom that's followed me pretty much through the whole thing.

I guess I will head out. It's after midnight and I'm still going. I actually had a nap today. I never take naps anymore.... just never have time. All I do is work, unpack, sleep and repeat haha. God bless each of you and know that I am still Praying for you! Remember if you are near here Monday let me know!

Ps. I will add the new ultrasound pictures as soon as we hook our printer/scanner up...it may be a few weeks!

22 weeks 3 days Appointment update ... A New Pic and a Surprise Video

So the appointment went well this week. Zoey was doing well. They finally got her final heart view captured. They said that everything looked great. Thank You Heavenly Father! Her heart rate was 142 (or 144 can't remember which) bpm. She weighs exactly one pound now. How precious! And I feel every ounce of that pound on my bladder daily haha. No complaints!

I truly do feel so blessed to be able to be pregnant and get to experience this life growing inside me. It is all that I thought it would be and more. I love feeling my baby girl kick and dance around inside my womb. I am not taking one second of it for granted because I know how big of a deal that it is. This has been my life long dream and God has blessed me to get to see it through... and I truly believe He will see it through until she's healthy and here in our arms. God is just too good to me.... and I am so unworthy of His grace and His mercies!

I do have a new ultrasound picture to share and another surprise to share. I received my fetal doppler from "Tiny Heartbeats" yesterday and I have enjoyed using it all day today. I wanted to figure out how to record the heartbeat so I set up my camera and recorded it that way. So... here's my lil Zoey Danielle's heartbeat. Enjoy!

P.s. I am still Praying for each of you.... Continue to keep us in your Prayers as well. One more thing... I am planning a baby shower... details to follow soon. Any advice from anyone is welcome!

Dancing Zoey

So what's been going on with me lately? A dancing Zoey girl! Zoey has been moving since the day after my last appointment. She has been moving quite a bit most days. She moves quite a bit in Church during the sermons. It's hilarious. She enjoys any sugar I consume, no matter how small. I love feeling her move. It is so awesome and so amazing. I love her so much and I have never even held her yet! Amazing that you can feel that way isn't it? God is so good and so amazing to design things to work the way that they do!

I have thought about purchasing a doppler since I first found out I was pregnant so I took the advice of a dear blog friend and was blessed enough to set up the rental of a free doppler from Tiny Heartbeats. You can click on the title of the organization Tiny Heartbeats to read about it. It is an awesome organization that rents dopplers for free to anyone who has experienced "fetal miscarriage, fetal demise, ectopic pregnancy or stillbirths, lost a child to complications from pregnancy, or those women in high risk pregnancies." I sent in my liability wavier and my doctor faxed in the prescription last week. Dana, the founder of Tiny Heartbeats, said that she should be able to send one out this week. I'm excited! I can't wait to hear Zoey's hearbeat daily and to be able to share it with my family that can't go to the doctor with me (namely my dad and often times my hubby).

I haven't shared a lot of pregnancy symptoms so I figured I would back track a bit here and list them for myself mainly:

Very 1st symptoms: EXHAUSTION, major heartburn, tingly boobs, shortly after I found out I had a lovely battle with a bum bump (we know what I'm talking about) lol, major trapped gas issues... so severe I woke up in the middle of the night in severe pain... and I ended up with a UTI.

The heartburn went away but since I hit my 2nd trimester, it has shown back up. It flares up pretty often now. I also have had a hard time sleeping since about week 14 because I can only sleep on my left or right side. This gets harder with each passing week. I am already having a hard time getting up and down when laying on my parent's couch that I sink down into haha I have a baby belly... showing quite a bit. I'm making use of my maternity capris though I can still fit into elastic waisted pants from prepregnancy... though they are fitted.

In my current month, month 6, I am still feeling the heartburn. My feet and legs swell when I am on them too much at work. I've managed to get a blister back in my throat again (had one back at 19.5 weeks). I am on my second round of antibiotics... this time a Zpak and an antifungal called Nystatin. It doesn't seem to be clearing it up. I try to gargle saltwater daily and that seems to be helping more than anything. I have also had some sinus issues and bleeds in the past day or so.

Hmm... I think I mentioned it all. I had a great weekend with my parents and brother. Mike went out of town to his parent's house to get boxes and the trailer to help us move in a few weeks. He also picked up our lawnmower that we bought from my aunt. I stayed with my parents because I don't need to be 5 hours away from my doctors ... I'm already almost 2 hours away. My parents, brother, and I went to Pigeon Forge (which is closer to my doctor than we are here at home) and shopped at the outlets. We got Zoey some summer dresses, hats, and baby Crocs for next summer. I had a great time. I also enjoyed church this weekend and our Labor Day weekend sermon's and missionary speaking.

I go back to my doctor Wednesday. Pray that Zoey D. is still doing well. Please continue to Pray for the health of Zoey and I both as we are exposed to numerous sicknesses at my workplace. I stay nervous daily with all that's going around and especially with the outbreak of the Swine Flu which keeps getting closer and closer to us. Pray for a hedge of protection around us and our family so that we can get this baby here healthy! Much love and many Prayers to each of you with your situations!

THANK YOU FATHER FOR YOUR WONDERFUL BLESSINGS!

20 Weeks Today ... Halfway!

Just a quick note to say that for my birthday weekend (Friday August, 21) I get to celebrate the halfway point of this pregnancy! I am 20 weeks today! I just Pray we can make it the rest of the way. Please continue to keep us in your Prayers! Praise God for His unchanging love and mercy!

Much love,

18.5 Week Update & It's A .....

Hello all:

I have the hardest time making myself sit down to write about my appointments anymore. I always try to be so detailed for you guys (and mainly for me so that I'll remember all this in the future). I get to where I really have to push myself to type all this out. I am certainly glad I do though because I have so many local friends who are also going through infertility that ask me questions and I have to get on here and look up to see the information that I remembered at some point and what happened with it. It is a very handy tool for me as well as the most awesome way to keep up with my blog friends (all of you guys)!

So... I went to the doctor on Wednesday. I, for once, was nervous but not overly nervous like I usually am. I didn't have to wait long and I got the ultrasound tech that I just love. She is so sweet and so informative. She explains everything to me. She is also the tech who predicted that the baby was a girl right after all of that bleeding. Well, she told me again on Wednesday that she definitely is indeed a little girl. I am having a Zoey Danielle!

Zoey is a name that my momma and I heard at my brother's football game the night before my IF surgery. Of course I had heard it before but we just fell in love with it. It was brought up again a couple of months ago and it has stuck. This baby is a Zoey! The name means "LIFE" and that's just what she is to me, my life already : ) The middle name is Danielle which is in remembrance of my beloved, best friend Danielle Bowman. I have said from the start that when I got pregnant, I would use her name if I had a little girl. I Prayed at the beginning for God to let her be a part of this pregnancy and baby in some way and He has!

Would I have been disappointed with a little boy? NO, NO, NO! I would love either and would hope to one day have both. I have just yearned for a baby, no matter what it's gender was. But it is nice to be able to name the baby after Danielle. The name Danielle means "God is my judge" and that fits perfectly, too, because it is God who has judged this situation and decided to provide life to this little child and to this expectant momma. Praise the name of Jesus for this wonderful blessing! May this situation, this child, and this family bring honor to the name of God!

I did find out more than just the gender. The baby is growing well and measured up well. The genetic counselor came in during my ultrasound to aid in looking for markers for Downs Syndrome since my test came back at an increased risk. Some of the things they looked for were the kidney shape, the "sixth digit" which was making sure there were 3 bones in the pinkie finger, other organs and their shapes, and cysts on the brain. They thought that they possibly saw a cyst on the baby's brain but they were really unsure. I felt at peace the whole time because I truly feel that she is OK. The doctor came in and did a third ultrasound and confirmed that there was no cyst there and that it was normal! Praise God! The only thing they couldn't really see was the heart and they will scan it next time. So, be Praying that the heart is functioning well please : )

The genetic counselor realized in the middle of the scan that I had bled in the weeks prior to, and during the week of my Quad Screen. She said that the bleeding could have thrown the blood work off, too. The doctor confirmed that as well. He said it was the HCG levels that were off a bit and those were what would be affected by the bleeding. I had read this online when researching so I was familiar with what they were talking about. I hadn't been overly stressed either because God had given me a peace about the situation just hours after the phone call with the test results.

The blood clot was mostly gone. There was some blood left in the uterus and was just laying there. The doctor said that I could pass it or it could reabsorb. The membrane (water sac) had began to attach to the uterine wall but was still unattached just a bit. For this reason, I was kept on modified bed rest for another 2 weeks. Also, the placenta had moved out of the way! Praise God!

I do have a couple of pictures for you. These show the baby looking at us. None of my pictures have been as good as those from 14.5 weeks but we'll take them! No big deal to me. I just love seeing her. There was even one point where she covered her face with her hands as if she were saying, "Not more pictures!" Too funny because I am the picture queen! The tech tried to get a picture of the baby so that I would have proof she was a girl but she closed her legs right as she tried to capture the image and she wouldn't open them again. Oh well, at least she is modest. That means we are off to a good start : ) HAHA

Thanks be to God for giving me such great news at this appointment! I am so blessed to have gotten good news and I just praise my Heavenly Father's name for that! Thank You Father for this little girl who has already touched my life and the lives of so many. Continue to bless her in my womb and throughout her whole life. Use her life to glorify You! Strengthen me so that I am able to teach her all about You and Your perfect ways. I love you Jesus.

Here are the pictures of Zoey Danielle. Enjoy and remember that I am still Praying for each of you guys. I feel like God is moving in a lot of your situations even though I'm not sure how. He is good and I know that you guys know that because after what we've all been through, I can't imagine heading into such a dark tunnel of infertility without the light of Jesus guiding us through. I love you guys!

A Letter To My Child

My Child,

Mommy just finished looking at your pictures. I Pray you are still feeling good inside my womb. I am doing all that I can do to keep you safe. I know God's hand is wrapped around you right now, too. The devil continues to bother me with thoughts of losing you, but God is good. He knows my heart's desire and I truly believe that you have been His plan since I was born 27 years ago. I believe that He will help you now and throughout your life and I believe that you will do your best to serve Him for that is my utmost Prayer for you.

Please know that I love you beyond measure and that I would give anything that I physically could in order to ensure you were safe and well taken care of. God is faithful! I know in my heart that I will continue to experience your presence in my womb. I know that our bond will continue to grow stronger. I know that even as scary as this situation is, I will hold you in my arms near the end of this year and that you will be perfectly healthy and perfect for me. I plead the blood of my Savior and your Savior over your perfect, little, growing body and I know that He listens and He answers even now at this moment.

I love you,

Mom

Ps. I enjoyed worshipping with you this morning from my bed as we watched our church on DVD. What a wonderful experience and a glimpse of worship experiences to come!

Baby Eliot ... See my Shine 4 Jesus blog

A lot of you follow this blog but may not be aware of my primary blog, Shine 4 Jesus. I have neglected it quite a bit lately but I am trying to do better. Let me invite you to become a regular reader! Please click on the title to read/watch my latest post. It is a beautiful picture of God's love and His fingerprints are all through this video presentation! Enjoy!

Click here!

Ps. Baby Eliot's momma is getting ready to have a brother or sister for him. Please Pray for a safe delivery and a healthy baby.

Last RE appointment and 1st High Risk OB appointment

The past few days have been crazy to put it mildly. My mind has totally ran away with me thinking that these horrible pains that I am feeling on the side opposite of my uterus was an ectopic pregnancy. I was sick all day Sunday with these crazy pains and then Tuesday night I woke up three different times from them. It was scary. Don't get me wrong, I can handle pain... but the thought of something happening to my baby drove me insane. In the mental stress of it all... I never stopped to think that my tube doesn't connect on the right. I knew that... it's just funny how the devil lets you forget those details when you need to remember them.

Anyway... I was extremely nervous today as I went for my 10:30am appointment with my RE for my first ultrasound. My RE told me that we were looking for a black circle and then a flicker, which was the heartbeat. I held my breath and then there it was. It was so cute... well to me it was haha. I had a hard time seeing the heartbeat but my hubby saw it fine. The doctor said that it had taken a little longer for the baby to move along to implant so the age was moved back to 6 weeks and 1 day. She said the heartbeat was 100bpm. She also told us that everything looked perfect for the age of the baby. I also got my baby's first picture!



I really enjoyed seeing my doctor and the staff. It was the first time I had seen them since my insemination. She went through the little due date wheel and said I would be due in January. She said around the 13th, but we'll stick with the 10th (my brother's 19th birthday) to make Billy happy. She continued to go through every month on the wheel to tell me the things I'd feel and what I could expect. She told me that the baby would more than likely be here by Christmas and at the earliest Thanksgiving.

We laughed and talked about my preggo belly and how it would look a little lopsided at times and then I got teary eyed and hugged my very special RE bye... for now. I told her that I'd be back for baby number 2 unless God had different plans.

Michael and I left and headed to Makino's Japenese Buffet. It was so good. I love the soup more than anything. I was soo hungry because I have been trying to not eat late because of the stomach issues. After a very delicious lunch, we headed to my new doctor's office at UT.

Of course it was the normal paperwork and all when I got there. Then I got a little sleepy while waiting to be called. I finally got called to do a urine sample and to be checked in (boy that urine sample was an adventure because of all the stomach issues ha!). Then Michael came back with me for another ultrasound. This time the tech (I missed my RE doing the ultrasound!) said the baby was only 5 weeks and 6 days (2 days different than my RE) and the heartbeat was 116. She said that they like to see a heartbeat of 120 but that since the baby was a young as it was that was normal. She printed me a second picture. It was a little more clear.



One of the doctor's came in and we talked. The nurse practitioner then came in and they conferred with each other. I asked some questions about vacation, stomach issues, that major pain in my side (they think it could be my right ovary still sending hormones, still swollen, maybe stretched, etc. ... my RE thought this could be it, too), eczema medication, etc. Then I had to do another urine sample and scheduled an appointment for 3 weeks later before heading home.

I cannot tell you the relief I felt when seeing that heartbeat. Am I out of the woods? Nope. But my RE did say (and I've read this) that after seeing the heartbeat, your miscarriage rate drops to about 5%. Not to say it can't happen but that its a better chance that it won't. I just Pray that it doesn't.

God is so good to me. He has heard my cries for 2 years and He has sent me this child. He has heard my cries for the past month and has blessed this ultrasound appointment. I praise Him for that! I Praise Him for this whole journey because it was all for a reason. This journey has made me who I am... I am the same yet there's a part of me that will never be the same. I Pray that I can continue to be used with through this situation.

There is plenty more I want to say and I will in the next little bit. Things are just really crazy right now because it's the end of the school year, my bro's graduation is coming up, vacation, dr. appointments, etc. I will be back!

Just keep Praying for me and the health of my baby. Pray for this crazy pain in my right, empty side. And Pray for my family. Also, please know that I am Praying for each of you as well!

Much love,




PS. Symptoms I am having: hmmm... exhausted, bathroom issues (*sigh* it's always one extreme or the other for me haha), heartburn (but that has calmed down a lot)

Beta Levels at 4 weeks and 3 days

My levels went up to 116. I was really happy about that. God is so wonderful! It's been a long, long day. I've had drama trying to find out those levels then major drama trying to get the progesterone in oil I was suppose to have had overnighted. They messed up and sent it regularly and I had to have it today. Ended up having to drive 40 minutes away to get the meds from a different pharmacy until these get here. The devil does not want me to have an easy time. All I have to say is, "Get off my back satan in the name of Jesus Christ!" And that will work!

Acid is flowing and I feel little twinges in my side. Little bit of brown earlier but sort of like what you have a couple days after your monthly friend. More than anything... EXHAUSTED!

I did make it to church tonight and I'm so glad I did. You should feel the spirit in our church especially when there is no noise and just Prayers and tears being shed on the altar. It's amazing! God is doing great things at Binghamtown!

Progesterone level was checked today and I will get it back in the next day or so. Just keep Praying that everything will work out throughout this whole pregnancy. Much love to all of u!

Ps. Pray for Baby Logan, a 2 year old at our church daycare who was just diagnosed with cancer after a tumor was found in his belly. Also, Pray for little Zoey who just had open heart surgery today and had a 50 percent chance of making it!

The Day After The Shock!

Tomorrow I go to have my beta level checked again. Please Pray that it has doubled. Also, please Pray that my progesterone level will come up. It was a 10 and they want it at a 15. My doctor increased my shot dosage to 2 per day so that it will bring it up. Just Pray that it works and most importantly Pray for God's will. I'm very nervous about tomorrow's results and the next few results for that matter but God is still in control. Whatever He wants to happen with this baby, He will let happen. Just continue to remember me in Prayer. I am by no means out of the woods yet and probably will not feel as though I am until I hold my precious child in my arms.

Also, please continue to Pray for all of those out there (including some of you) who are still waiting. Pray for guidance and strength as they persevere. I want so badly for those of you that I follow to be able to walk this path with me and I truly believe God is on the brink of answering your Prayers. We are still in this together!

And... THANKS SO MUCH for your sweet comments, phone calls, texts, emails. I promise to try to get back to you guys. I am sort of spacey right now haha. I love each of you dearly even if I haven't been the greatest at showing it in these last few months. These hormones and all the mental stress have made me want to hide myself in a deep, dark cave. I look forward to coming out into the light again : ) God is so good!!!

Much love,



Ps. There is a teenage boy that needs our Prayers. My brother goes to school with him and he went to the school I teach out. He stopped breathing this evening. Not sure the situation... but they have him at UT. Be much in Prayer for him please!

Waiting it out ....

First and foremost thanks to all of you who are Praying so hard and to those who have left sweet, sweet words of encouragement ... family and friends alike! You'll never know just how much you are appreciated.

I am feeling not so great today. I've been on an emotional roller coaster the past few days. Just the ups and downs of dreading finding out this news. I still have Hope that this is my month, but I am still a bit scared as well and exhausted more than anything. I feel like I won't be waiting too much longer because I feel like I'm trying to start my period. My lower back hurts and I feel really jittery. (I do the 'jittery' thing sometimes before my period). I also feel really nauseated. It's a toss up because periods and pregnancy have a lot of the same symptoms. I won't be surprised to see red soon even though I really hope that I don't.

I have really felt God speaking to me in these last few days. Last night I was watching Pastor John Hagee (I record his preaching) and he was speaking about hope. He said that hope is not just wishful thinking... our Hope is in the Lord. I've always known that but the things he brought out in his sermon just really touched my heart. This morning I was having my Prayer time and I wanted to hear a song before I started reading my Bible. I accidentally clicked on a link which took me to Natalie Grant's Myspace page and the song "Our Hope Endures" began to play out of the blue. I had heard that song on one of my many long trips home from the RE. This song I am not claiming as my theme song! I just sat and cried the entire time that it played. God is soo good even in the midst of these storms. Here He is trying to provide peace to my troubled. Thank you Father!

I don't know what will happen in the next couple of days. I honestly don't. I know what my heart wants to happen ... I want to find out that I'm pregnant and begin a journey that will be hard but worthwhile. Most importantly, as hard as it may be for me to accept, I want God's will in this situation more than anything and in my entire life for that matter.

Please continue to Pray my faithful sisters (and brothers who read or keep up in some way). Pray for God's will and Pray for my heart and my well being regardless of this outcome. Pray for guidance from Our Heavenly Father as to what to do in the coming months. Pray for peace and mercy. And Pray for others who are out there (like my friend Dena) who are also awaiting their news, whether it be about infertility or some other problem.

Please enjoy Natalie Grant's "Our Hope Endures":




Lyrics:

Our Hope Endures
By Natalie Grant

You would think only so much can go wrong
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume this one has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here
Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend peace within pain?
Or joy at a good man's wake?
Walk a mile with the woman whose body is racked
With illness, oh how can she laugh?
Oh, 'cause sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

Emmanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient
We never walk alone
And this is our hope

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged


Much Love to Each of You!

Psalm 37 ... God's Reminders to Me

So ... last month in the shower Psalm 37:4 came to my heart. I was disheartened and hurt and God spoke to me through that verse. Today during Prayer time I was flipping through my Bible and landed on Psalm 37. As I started reading I ran into that verse. It brought tears to my eyes to see what God was once again reminding me of. Tonight at our church my pastor opened up the service with ... Psalm 37. Once again, it brought tears to my eyes. How good God is and how awesome His promises are!

I know that no matter the outcome this weekend ... He has a big plan for my desires. I am not saying that if I get a negative result that I won't be upset and hurt... but deep down I'll always know that God has a perfect will and that He is keeping me right in the center of it and I'll be grateful for that opportunity!

(Side note: my progesterone was 72)

Please read this chapter:

Psalm 37 (King James Version)

Psalm 37

¹Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.

²For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.

³Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

⁴Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

⁵Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

⁶And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.

⁷Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.

⁸Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

⁹For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.

¹⁰For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.

¹¹But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.

¹²The wicked plotteth against the just, and gnasheth upon him with his teeth.

¹³The LORD shall laugh at him: for he seeth that his day is coming.

¹⁴The wicked have drawn out the sword, and have bent their bow, to cast down the poor and needy, and to slay such as be of upright conversation.

¹⁵Their sword shall enter into their own heart, and their bows shall be broken.

¹⁶A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked.

¹⁷For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the LORD upholdeth the righteous.

¹⁸The LORD knoweth the days of the upright: and their inheritance shall be for ever.

¹⁹They shall not be ashamed in the evil time: and in the days of famine they shall be satisfied.

²⁰But the wicked shall perish, and the enemies of the LORD shall be as the fat of lambs: they shall consume; into smoke shall they consume away.

²¹The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous sheweth mercy, and giveth.

²²For such as be blessed of him shall inherit the earth; and they that be cursed of him shall be cut off.

²³The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.

²⁴Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

²⁵I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.

²⁶He is ever merciful, and lendeth; and his seed is blessed.

²⁷Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell for evermore.

²⁸For the LORD loveth judgment, and forsaketh not his saints; they are preserved for ever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off.

²⁹The righteous shall inherit the land, and dwell therein for ever.

³⁰The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.

³¹The law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide.

³²The wicked watcheth the righteous, and seeketh to slay him.

³³The LORD will not leave him in his hand, nor condemn him when he is judged.

³⁴Wait on the LORD, and keep his way, and he shall exalt thee to inherit the land: when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see it.

³⁵I have seen the wicked in great power, and spreading himself like a green bay tree.

³⁶Yet he passed away, and, lo, he was not: yea, I sought him, but he could not be found.

³⁷Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace.

³⁸But the transgressors shall be destroyed together: the end of the wicked shall be cut off.

³⁹But the salvation of the righteous is of the LORD: he is their strength in the time of trouble.

⁴⁰And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.

8 DPO ... Just A Drop

Nothing really to report. I feel absolutely nothing. Should I? It's amazing to me that all the information I need and desire to know, yet am scared to death to hear .... is all found in one drop of blood. How awesome to think of a drop of blood that is way more important than mine ... the blood of Jesus! All that I needed forever .... found in just one drop of His shed blood for my sins! How awesome. And today I hold his verse dear because it is all I have in the midst of this 2ww.

Joshua 1:9

King James Version Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

Please just continue to Pray for this precious miracle that happens to many but is only realized by a few ... I want to be in that few.