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Saturday, June 14, 2008

I'm Back

After a long, relaxing week at Myrtle Beach, I'm back to my infertility struggle. I feel a lot better than I felt before I left. I was stressing so much about remembering to get my Clomid from the pharmacy and about company coming in after we get back (during our time to "try"). I really enjoyed my trip and I pray that I can continue to relax and rest my mind from the pain of infertility.
I often stood on the beach at night with my husband this week and Prayed for God to work a miracle through me. My husband would be busy catching fish and baby crabs when the tide would rush in and I would be standing there in the dark with tears rolling down my face Praying. I talked to God about how amazing He is to have created something so awesome with so many hidden mysteries as the ocean. I also remembered the story of the Lord parting the waters of the Red Sea so that His people could go through. When you stand and look at that much water, that story seems a thousand times more amazing. And I began to wonder, why am I going through this when my God can do these amazingly huge miracles. It wouldn't take much for me to become pregnant. I'm just a simple person in this whole, big world. Yet, I'm not.
Yes, most of the time I am on here upset. I thank God that I'm not today. I didn't get a positive test last weekend and I am just now gearing up for this next cycle but for some reason I am happy in my soul. God has given me joy and contentment in this last week. I praise Him for that. I know that I'll have low days and struggles in the days ahead but I also believe that God has destined me to this path for a reason. It isn't easy but it's my road and I must walk it with grace and the desire to point to Him at any cost. I just Pray I can do it justice.
I can't wait to get pregnant. I truly can't. But until I get that positive, I Pray that God will continue to carry me and speak sweet peace to my soul so that I can walk this path. I Pray this for all my friends struggling with infertility. Actually, I Pray this for anyone out there struggling with it. Lord, just help us to deal.

2 Remarks:

Dave & Elaine

I just came across your blog and it is an encouragement to me. I too desire so much to be pregnant, but struggle with infertility. It is nice to run into people with the same struggle because they are the only ones who really understand the pain of being on this road. May God bless you soon with a child.

Sarah

I just found your blog today too, I also started an infertility blog last week when I was feeling down about getting my period. I've linked you on my page. Good luck this next month. Sarah