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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

What An Update!

Hi guys:

I know some of you have been waiting to hear this news about my eggs and how big they are. Well, I waited all day, too. My infertility specialist was kind enough to work with my local midwife to keep me from having to drive 2 hours to her office, so my ultrasound was set up for today here in Kentucky. My doctor assured me that she was sending a letter to make sure it would be ok and then after it was ok'd, her nurse called me back with the appointment. I was excited to see what those eggs looked like.

So.... I went this evening at 4pm as soon as I got off work. I waited for just a few minutes and was called up to the desk. The receptionist asked me who I was there to see and I told her my midwife's name. She told me that she wasn't there today and that they had me down to see one of the doctors. I told her that it didn't matter to me since I was just there for a vaginal ultrasound. She then said that they didn't have any of my records from my other doctor, so I gave her the number to my infertility specialist and she called to get my records.

A few minutes later I was called back to the nurse's station. I asked if they had gotten it straightened out and the nurse said that they would and that I would have my ultrasound regardless of whether or not they received the records today or tomorrow. So we did the weight and blood pressure thing and then I sat in the back waiting area because I just didn't want to be out in the main one with that massive crowd of pregnant bellies.

I was called about 5 minutes later to my exam room. A few minutes later the doctor came through the door and asked me what was going on with me. I think he thought I was a new patient. I explained the whole situation and he just looked at me really oddly and said that they don't usually do that kind of stuff there. I explained that my doctor had ok'd it with my midwife and he told me that my midwife usually just says yes without thinking. He said that I was not scheduled for an ultrasound and that their ultrasound tech stays booked up. He left the room to see what he could do to help.


He came back and said that unfortunately I would not be able to have it done today but I could come in the morning at 8:30am and they could do it or I could just go to my doctor. He also stated that if I did have the ultrasound there, that I would have to just drive the 2 hours from now on because they were not going to help me out by doing follicle scans each month. He said that their office was too busy with folks having babies and things and that their ultrasound tech had too big of a load anyway.

I got a little aggravated and I told him that it would have been nice to have had all this figured out 2 weeks ago when my doctor requested and they accepted. I also told him that I couldn't just drop everything and take off work tomorrow. I mentioned that I didn't mind leaving and coming back or even being the very last patient. He said that that was fine but that the ultrasound tech wanted to get home to her family as well.

So he left again to call her and I sat there thinking, why in the world is this all so hard for me? It's hard enough going through infertility but to have people make it that much harder is just crazy to me. The door opened and he came back in. He said that the tech had agreed to squeeze me in and I thanked him. He then started asking me these crazy questions about my doctor coding things that she does for infertility so that the insurance will cover it. The next thing I know, he is discussing insurance fraud with me. I told him that she is definitely not involved in anything like that and he just kept on and on with the whole thing. I told him that I wasn't sure how things were covered at times but that I definitely felt blessed that they were because I don't have that kind of money to throw around. I reassured him that my doctor was not involved in any of that stuff. I was amazed! And of course he agreed that he understood wanting things covered because of money issues and I sat there thinking, "No you don't. You are a doctor who makes tons of money. If you wanted a baby and couldn't have one, you could just fork over the money to try to have one."

So he led me back to another small waiting area and I was so upset by this point that I was blinking back tears. I was amazed that I was being treated this way. I could understand that they were busy but why in the world did they accept me for this ultrasound? They treated me like I was just some random person from the street and not a grown adult that had been a patient there for 8 months. While I waited I called my mom. She was furious and told me that I needed to switch doctors. I totally agreed because my midwife can't deliver my child anyway and I would have to be turned over to another doctor there and I sure don't think I would want that. So I called my friend Deanna and asked her how hard she thought that it would be for me to switch to her OBGYN. Then I told her the whole situation.

After we had talked for a few minutes, the ultrasound tech came around the corner and I hung up the phone. She told me to go into the bathroom and undress from the waist down and empty my bladder. Well I had actually just went to the bathroom so I didn't bother trying to go again. Those of you who know me know that I don't have to go that frequently. I opened the door and walked out and she asked me if I emptied my bladder. I told her that I had just a few minutes prior to going in there. She gave me this really hateful look and said, "Well try again." I went back in and tried then I went out for the ultrasound.

I tried to make small talk but she didn't seem to want to talk. I had planned to tell her that I appreciated her adding me to her list even though it was probably time for her to go home, but I couldn't really talk with her. I asked how my follicles looked and she said she would measure them after she took all the photos that she needed. When she finished, I got dressed and came back out to get the results. The doctor had asked if I could fax the results myself and I had told him yes, even though I think that they could have at least done that for me but oh well at least I know they'll get there first thing tomorrow morning. So the tech took about 10 minutes and did all the measurements and things for the report. She then printed it and handed it to me. I thanked her and asked if she knew if my eggs were 18 0r more. She said, "I don't deal with infertility." I stated, "Oh, I know. I was just meaning the size of the follicles. Were they at least 18?" and she replied that she had no idea and that that's why I needed to go to my infertility specialist. I was amazed at how rude she had been and how rude the doctor had been.

So, I was in tears by the time I left the office and I was in shock that they had been so rude to me. I felt like they were basically saying that I was an "issue" that they didn't want to deal with. I sat there and watched the tech's children's pictures go by on her digital picture frame and thought to myself, she couldn't possibly know how infertility feels or she would be a little more sensitive to my feelings. I wasn't there to cause trouble. I was only there because my doctor had sent me there. I was only there because I wanted a baby. I had nothing to do with paperwork and records or other doctors agreeing to something and then their colleagues changing their minds.

I did, however, manage to figure out the size of my eggs (or at least I think I did). I am pretty sure that they are measured in millimeters and that anything 18 or over is good. So I converted my sizes, which were in centimeters, to millimeters. I have 8 eggs on my right side with the biggest being 20.5 and 16.9. I have about 5 or 6 on my left side with the biggest being 13.7. So I have been blessed with some big enough eggs. I'm glad I have at least one that is bigger than 18.

I still wonder though, if I take my shot, will I release the biggest eggs or will I just release from whichever ovary takes a turn this month? Deanna seems to think that the shot will just make me release the eggs that are mature no matter which side they are on. Does anyone know?

Lastly, please Pray for me. This whole situation got me down in the dumps this evening. I know that the way I have explained it makes it not sound as bad but I guess you just had to be there to understand how rudely I was treated. Please Pray that if it's at all possible in God's will, that this would be my month to get pregnant. Pray for this mess of switching doctors as well, as I will attempt to begin that process tomorrow.

Love to each of you!

4 Remarks:

beth ewing

yikes! i'm so sorry girl. i don't think people realize that when you are in the throws of infertility, your emotions are right there at the surface all the time. it's hard to deal with things you might have been better able to deal with before. it sounds like a horrible time and definitely a horrible doctor. let me say this from my experience...it makes all the difference in the world to have a doctor that you feel cares for you and sympathizes with your situation. so good luck. and i'll research the follicle thing.

Bake Me A Cake!

I just found your blog today! Thank you so much for sharing your story. My sister-in-law is struggling with infertility and I'll pass this along to her.

May the LORD bless you and your family.

These Three Kings

Oh wow.. I am so sorry
I am praying for you

Hear My Cry

Your story left me crying. I cannot imagine being treated in such a harsh way by supposed professionals. I'd definitely send a letter of complaint even though it probably wouldn't matter.

I just stumbled across your blog today after doing a search for other bloggers dealing with infertility. I'm dealing with secondary infertility and just started a blog a few days ago. I haven't revealed my identity because I just don't want the people in my community to know what I'm going through just yet. I'm not ready to share with those around me. I'm going to spend some time reading here.

I do pray the Lord open and bless your womb very soon. Big hugs.