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Monday, September 22, 2008

Kinda sad

So the doctor's nurse just called me and told me that my progesterone level was 14. I asked her a couple of questions because I thought on medication it was suppose to be higher but she really didn't know what to tell me so I have left a message for the doctor to call me back. I dunno. I am once again asking, make that begging for your Prayers. I trust God. I just need some help because I am feeling so overwhelmed each month with this. I'm consumed mentally with what day it is, when I take these meds, when the ultrasound is, when my shot is to be given, what my progesterone levels are, and wondering about every little symptom. Please Pray that God will carry me through the rest of this cycle and through the next if there is a next. Guys... I'm weary. The doctor called and said that it was a good level and not to worry but you know how it is.... just Pray guys. I should start my period tomorrow or Wed.

4 Remarks:

Anonymous

Hi. You don't know me but I read your blog from time to time. (can't remember how I came across it) I'm in a similar situation and have often identified with your feelings. I have endometriosis and my hubby and I have been ttc for a while. Thank you for your vulnerability and willingness to share your struggles/journey.
I wanted to tell you that I was praying for you just this morning (before I read this entry). I pray that the Lord is so near to you today and you are able to see His hand...even just a little bit...in all that you are experiencing. He is faithful!
~c

Elaine

I'm so sorry to hear this. I know your pain and weariness. Take it to the Lord. You cannot carry it alone. We are here for you.

beth ewing

hang in there girl. i don't think people really understand how hard it really is and what a toll it plays on you. i'll pray that this is your month but if not, i'll pray that God continues to sustain you. there have been many months i didn't think i could go on but He carried me through those times.

Jenileigh

Hey Alesha,
I know its hard. The feelings, the thoughts, the emotional turmoil is like torment. Always wondering, hoping yet being afraid to hope. I know you are very busy, I'm sorry about your sil...I'm praying for her too, but if you have a chance to stop by my blog and read the post titled Infertility Myths, you'll have to click the link to read it, its good stuff. It helped me a lot not only in how I see God but how I see myself.

I am praying that this month is your month but if it is not I pray the peace of God be with you. Try to remember the things you know, like He is your Abba Daddy. He is in control. Trust His plan for you whatever it is, trying hard not to wonder what it is, trying hard not to let your thoughts run wild, just trust in Him daily as He leads you through this walk.

I know it isn't easy and I'm a big fat failure at it myself, but He speaks His truths to me, I just don't always want to hear, I'm impatient, I want control, I want to know in my time. Sometimes I just wish He would say a big bold yes or no so that I would know one way or the other, so I could on with life, but today He spoke so firmly to me and He said, "Now that wouldn't be trust would it?"

Hang in there my friend. He is there. He cares, He hears, you are not alone.

Much love.
Jenileigh